I'm All In!

According to the beat writer minion that submitted spoilers from ECW's futile attempt to entertain the citizens of Boston:

They also had promos that said Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton would be on Raw, I believe on the 21st when they get back from Europe. Maybe a spoof but several promos were shown to the audience.

The bolding and italics are mine. Maybe a spoof!? Maybe?! Way to go out on a limb there Jimmy The Greek. Have you watched WWE programming at any time in say the last 10 years? Congratulations, in the infinitesimal chance that the actual Democratic presidential candidates do appear in a World Wrestling Federation ring, you'll not be unequivocally wrong in your assessment. The blob of lard redolent of nail polish remover and chili cheese fries that you call your wife is sure to be proud of your prudent and evenhanded reporting.

I can say with absolute certainty that the odds of me winning the Powerball, with a ticket purchased at local Pump n' Munch from a lowly third shift cashier that just so happens to be occasional political pundit Jumpin' Jim Brunzell, are substantially higher than anything of the sort actually occurring. Tell you what, if Arabian Facebuster's former favorite son and Hillary Clinton (the actual candidates, not Glenn Jacobs dressed in black face and Rick Bogner dressed in drag, or the return of the Rosie/Donald thespians, or any other third-rate impersonators) show up on RAW, or SmackDown! or ECW for that matter, together, anytime between now and say the end of time, yours truly Malibu Sands also will *gulp* watch and file a report on the Chyna-Sean Waltman sexcapade.

If not, the staff at Arabian Facebuster can throw in either a pack of Marlboro Medium cigarettes or can cozy with a hilarious and possibly sexist idiom to complement my case of frosty beers that I am currently owed and will redeem the next time I set foot in the 503. Your choice.

Alright, let's gamble!