Friday, February 01, 2008

Reason #148 to Despise Hulk Hogan

A few weeks back, Arabian Facebuster endorsed Mike Huckabee for President based on his conservative bona fides -- namely his commitment to mobilize, deploy, and spend every resource at the government's disposal in identifying, rounding up, torturing (fingers crossed), and deporting all 12 million filthy, filthy illegals and his pledge to go to any length to legislate biblically congruent social policy , including amending the United States Constitution -- and the political savvy and equanimity of his backers. After a string of discouraging, momentum killing, distant third place finishes, Arabian Facebuster has decided to pull its support in favor of a candidate that actually stands a plausible chance of winning his or her party's nomination and enacting Arabian Facebuster's three pronged political agenda: (1) erecting a monument on the Washington Mall to honor the memory of Bruiser Brody; (2) exerting pressure on the WWE to turn the Big Daddy V character gayer than a Richard Simmons cameo on an episode of Prison Break; (3) offering on-demand, no questions asked, government funded abortions at every town square and church basement throughout this great land.

Arabian Facebuster was about ready to endorse Barack Obama as the only viable remaining candidate competent enough to articulate this message of hope and committed to implement our platform...until we discovered this clip...



Hulk Hogan just co-opted our (newest) candidate. Sigh.

I wonder if Mike Gravel is still in the race.

2 comments:

Pencil Neck Geek said...

If Obama flounders on Super Tuesday, I'm holding the Orange Guy 100% responsible.

Malibu Sands said...

Went to see Obama at the Target Center this afternoon. Shockingly, there was no mention of the Hulk Hogan endorsement during his hour-long remarks.

Later today, I also attend at Mike Gravel rally in the utility closet of the Red Roof Inn in White Bear Lake. Bafflingly, no one at this rally was aware of Arabaian Facebuster, let alone its endorsement of the next President of the United States, MIKE GRAVEL!