Ahem.
Excuse me, Hulkster...
Listen, "Brother"... I got something to say to you
that maybe you should hear.
No, no, it's not about
the fanny pack you are wearing...
(B.T.W.- this picture
was taken of you as recently on your last night out on the town with that chick that all the pappis were calling ???mistakenly??? by your daughter Brooke's name. But that's a whole 'nother Can-Full... not of "Whup-Ass" Can-type, but the
wiggly-wriggly worm-type...as in that steroid shrunken
worm-type that you just can't seem to keep in your itty bitty old-school golden junk-trunks)
Ahem.
Excuse the rev., 'Brother Hulkster, its just that T-shirt you got on. After I stopped thinking to myself "Hummm.. maybees that woman doesn't look EXACTLY the fuck like your daughter, (but just maybe a negative-30- year-pre-op- version-of- your- soon- to- be- X-wife-Linda-like-) I goes and I sees the so to speak so called fine print on your T-Shirt.
Dude...Brother....I mean I understand the need to express yourself by T-shirt logoing as the next guy, but COME ON!!! (all-caps for emphasis)
Perhaps "Leather Dude", or "Never Let Them Make You Put The Other Guy Over", or even "Pinch Patrol" would better express the nature of the One True Hulkster we all know and love....
But "Christian Soldier"???
While on a date...
After already having banged repeatedly your Daughter's much-older "Best Friend"...
And the much younger woman you are out on a date with looks EXACTLY THE FUCK LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER.
"Christian Soldier" eh?
Way to Go Hulkster. Way to Go.
the rev.
3 comments:
$5 says that Hulkster's got a pocket sized bible and vile of holy water in that fanny pack.
And $10 says that he's also got a package of condoms with Old Testament characters airbrushed on the latex somewhere in there. For banging a young she/he that looks exactly your daughter, glancing down at your wang (probably weathered and leathery like the rest of his skin) and seeing an image Ishmael or that dastardly whale that swallowed Jonah just screams faith, devotion, and piousness in the opinion of this writer.
Ah, to be a Christian foot solider...
I'm guessing his wang is a tender, tender peach-ish pink unlike the rest of his deep-fried turkey-esque body. I can't imagine him hitting the tanning bed without like...I dunno...putting something over his genitals. Like a baby sock or a dollar coin.
This discussion RE: Hogan's Wang could very well be the impetus for next year's WrestleMania bet: "Stakes is Higher."
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