Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Ric Flair=60

Yikes Happy Birthday, Naitch!

Yr Black History Month Foto of the Week

What would an annual Arabian Facebuster tribute to and celebration of black professional wrestling be without a foto of the Iceman King Parsons!?

An imperfect one, I would contend.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

"OOPS! She Did It Again..."

... And just in time for WrestleMania 25!!!

Because we just couldn't get enough of that enlarged clitoral stuff, former WWE Superstar, er, I mean Diva, no, nope that's not quite right, umm, 2 Time Playboy Playmate, ungh, no, uh, Surreal Life Star, uh-nuh, I mean former Intercontinental Champion (yeah, that's it) Chyna, aka Joanie Laurer, aka Chyna Doll, aka THE source of all ArabianFacebuster WrestleMania Related Wagering Wagers has bequethed upon an unsuspecting world (and to the great delight of all of us here still waiting with baited breath for our  original "One Night in Chyna" review...P.N-G.?!!!?) ANOTHER dirrty, nasty, stinking, wart-infested pornagraphic foray into the proverbial Dark- Side (no, nope, sorry, not of the Eddie and the Cruisers variety neither!) 

With this cinematic bad-boy dropping sooner than X-pac's undescended testicle, all signs point to yes as to what our WM25 Wager is gonna be for '09! 

Now if only we could somehow review her previous body of work to establish a baseline for our critique....

BREAKING NEWS: Verne Gagne, Senile Cold Blodded Murderer!

Wow! Mark Twain and to a much lesser extent Greg Graffin were right, truth is stranger than fiction. Copied and pasted most certainly without permission from the Strib:

Last update: February 19, 2009 - 8:49 AM

Minnesota professional wrestling legend Verne Gagne, 82, reportedly caused the death of a 97-year-old man by throwing him to the floor of a Bloomington care facility where they both lived, according to a report on

Both men reportedly suffer from Alzheimer's and dementia, the report says.

The incident involving Gagne and Helmut R. Gutmann occurred on Jan. 26 at Friendship Village, MinnPost says. Gutmann, who suffered a broken hip, died 20 days later in hospice care.

It isn't known what might have led to the incident.

The two men had been involved in another incident once before, Gutmann's wife, Betty, told the website.

Betty Gutmann, who also lives at Friendship Village, said her sadness about the incident was tempered by her belief that Gagne may not have known what he was doing, and apparently doesn't remember the incident.

Bloomington police confirmed to MinnPost that they are investigating a case at Friendship Village, but could not verify that the case involves Gagne and Gutmann because of privacy rules.

A member of Gagne's family declined to discuss the incident in detail.

A spokesman for Friendship Village refused to comment or acknowledge the case, citing federal health-care regulations.

Gagne was born in Corcoran and was a pro-wrestler from 1949 to 1981. He also was known for his charitable contributions.

Gutmann, who fled Nazi Germany, was a research scientist for 40 years and played with the Bloomington Symphony Orchestra.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Yr Black History Month Foto of the Week

Bad Leroy Brown, who soiled himself just prior to this photo was snapped. Brown is flanked by his manager Yosemite Sam Sir Oliver Humperdink.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Malibu's New Furniture...Have Mercy!!!

Facebuster Nation: Apologies are in order from the highly organized, pristine desk of Malibu Sands for the lack of substantive content over the past few weeks. You see, I've recently gone ahead and purchased myself a luxurious new estate on a sprawling, palatial riverfront property that architecturally and atheistically is not unlike "Nature Boy" Ric Flair's early 1980s lakefront home in suburban Charlotte NC, minus the weathered deck, freeloading water fowl, and smoking hot wife. Over the last month, I have been spending an inordinate amount of time unpacking and strategically arranging my wrestling action figures, hanging up a life-sized X-Pac poster on my bedroom ceiling and scouring the Twin Cities area's finest outlet malls, flea markets, swap meets, pawn shops, crack houses, land fills, and curb sides in search of furnishings and furniture for my pad.

Alas, my protracted and arduous ordeal for a poorly built floral print couch, pastel pink lamps designed and assembled without any sense of irony, and a 10 piece pit group (huh?) is finally over.

Gotta flight to Love Field is departing in an hour. Oh, and I most assuredly will be telling the furniture sales associate (along with the airline ticket agent, skycap, stewardess, pilot, fat guy in the seat next to me, airport bartender, car rental agent, and hookers that I pick up on the way to and from the Love Furniture Center) that the Ice Man sent me.

Yr (Belated) Black History Month Foto of the Week

Shaska Whatley...possibly moments before Jimmy The Boogie Woogie Man Valiant hit him the shoulder with a loaded black glove, pinned him, shaved his head, and transformed him into a bald headed geek.

Friday, February 06, 2009

"Move over Pete Rose, Here Comes Fmr. Dept. of Labor Secretary Robert Reich"

Apparently flip-flopping Acadamy Award Nominee Mickey Rourke's name around Wrestlemania 25 just isn't enough celebrity star power for the 25th. anniversary of the "brawl that started it all", as WWE Superstar and formerly admitted "Big Red Retard" aka Kane, aka Issac Yankem DDS, aka The Fake Diesel, aka Unabomb, aka The Christmas Creature, aka Ron Paul "ReLOVE-U-TION" subcommandante Glenn Jacobs has taken it upon himself to inject an even more scintillating celebra-fued into the wrastlemania rumor mill....

Come the fifth of April, of this, our Lord's Year of Twothousand-ought- nine, could wee little ones be witness to....

on february 3 Kane writes (uses a voice-mimicking device held against his scarred and ruined trachea):
"Professor Reich:

I have some questions about some of the points that you brought up when you appeared on CNN’s The State of the Union show Superbowl Sunday. Although all my own training in economics is purely autodidactic, it seems to me that your arguments rest on faulty premises."

That's funny, I didn't realize they let you watch the HELLLLL!!!! Kane continues:

"When asked what is the fastest way for the government to create jobs (a question which itself relies on the erroneous presumption that the government has the ability to "create" jobs), you replied with a three-part answer, and first stated that "almost all economists agree" with you.

Whether almost all economists agree or not of no importance, but gives your answer an air of authority. Unfortunately, it is the policies of these same economists which have caused the mess in which America currently finds itself. While "almost all economists" may still possess authority in academia, their credibility on Main Street is sorely lacking. In addition, many economists do not agree with you. In fact, Austrian economists vehemently disagree with you"

Who and/or what is Kane doing with these so called "Austrian Economists". Are they practicing some kind of vodoo economics? And if so, just how vehement is their vehemence? Excuse me, Kane goes on:

"The government’s second priority, you said, should be to build infrastructure – putting people to work building roads, bridges, a new electrical grid, and a broadband internet system.

While we certainly need those things, how is this going to create jobs and why is it the government’s business to build them anyway?"

Excuse me, WTF?!?

"While the government can create jobs in one sector of the economy, it can only do so by destroying jobs in another sector of the economy. Perhaps you are familiar with Frédéric Bastiat’s famous essay What Is Seen and What Is Not Seen. In it, Bastiat explains that when the government undertakes a project such as building a bridge we see the benefits it brings – the jobs that it creates. What we do not see are the things that are destroyed because of the project – the jobs that are not created because the government confiscates the resources needed to create them."

See? As in "See No Evil"?!? Excuse me, Kane concludes:

"The government’s third priority, according to you, should be tax cuts. I wholeheartedly agree. Let’s eliminate personal income tax*, property taxes**, sales taxes***, and corporate taxes***f'n*!, as well as the onerous regulations that have driven so many companies out of the country. Unfortunately, that’s probably not what you meant by tax cuts, is it"

(insert shower scene "Psycho" stabbing theme here * and here**, again here***, and especially the fuck here****)

"All in all, Professor Reich, it seems to me that your arguments defy logic and common sense. However, as a prominent economist, public policy expert, and opinion molder, I’m sure that you can explain what I am missing. I anxiously await your reply... at Wrestle Mania... (italics mine)."

As of the time of this posting, Fmr. Department of Labor Secretary Robert Reich has yet to make a formal response to Kane's accusations. Let's keep our fingers crossed...

the rev.

Monday, February 02, 2009