Mistified

(Fig 1: Tajiri gives Nelson Frazier Jr his comeuppance for not acquiescing to our Big Gay Viscera character demands).

What with the departure of our trustworthy, diligent, and sexually ambiguous intern Chip, yrs truly Malibu Sands has does a piss poor job in keeping up with the ol' Facebuster mailbag. Well I pledge that's gonna change starting RIGHT NOW. Between today and the self-imposed demise of Arabian Facebuster at the end of this year, I pledge to answer 1...no, make that 2...pieces of fan mail.

Rest assured, I am making this intellectually demanding and wildly time consuming gesture out of appreciation and loyalty to our dear readership and correspondents.

So without further ado, let's go the gunny mail sack...

Demolitions Matt and Pat write:

Mr. Sands: What are your favorite illegal, foreign objects in professional wrestling?

What a great question Demolitions Matt and Pat; thanks for asking it! In descending order, here are my top 10 favorite blinding, incapacitating, and/or unconsciousness inducing professional rasslin' foreign objects and object based attacks...

10.Loaded Black Glove
9. Arm Cast
8. Ring Bell (particularly when it is employed by a certain "Macho Man" Randy Savage to crush the larynx of one Ricky "The Dragon"Steamboat)
7. Tennis Racket
6. White Powder (preferably of the YaYo variety)
5. Steel Chair
4. Plastic Shopping Bag
3. Automobile! (preferably those which are traveling at a high rate of speed in a Memphis TV studio parking lot).
2. Fireball!!

and my #1 favorite foreign object is...

...

...Green Mist!!!

And of those deliverers of that mysterious and practically hypnotic Asian mist, my favorites would have to be "The Japanese Buzzsaw" Yoshihiro Tajiri and, to a lesser extent, The Great Kabuki and Killer Khan (particularly for his blinding of that egomaniac Hulk Hogan).

My absolute favorite though is The Great Muta.

Embedded below for yr consideration and hopefully yr approval and sense of contentment is a 200 second, career spanning tribute to Muta's multicolored toxic spewing prowess and versatility.

Of the dozens upon dozens of mistings in this montage, for me the sequence with Muta standing on a chair so he could spray the green mist in the eyes of worthless tall drink of water El Gigante (aka Giant Gonzalez) at about the 50 second mark of this clip provides the most delight.



Enjoy.