Why We Watch...Exhibit H

Our svelte, tastefully yet stylishly dressed, impeccably groomed, super bubbly intern Chip has brought it to my attention that Arabian Facebuster been spending an inordinate amount of time chronicling all of the gayness that professional wrestling has to offer as of late. From documenting Road Warrior Animal's leatherman phase, to promoting the shirtless outdoor hijinks of The New Generation, to exposing this continent to Japan's newest effeminate red thong wrestling prodigy Real Gay, to appealing the powers that be in Stamford CT to turn Big Daddy V more flamingly gay than a Lance Bass concert at Turkish bathhouse with 2-for-1's on unprotected, totally discreet butt sex, Arabian Facebuster is quickly becoming the EDGE New York City of professional wrestling blog sites -- young, hip, throbbing with hot content, completely shaven, and totally fucking gay.

In an effort to curb our descent into matters of immorality and sin (if Ric Flair's endorsed candidate for president is to be believed) once again stake our claim to the mantle of America's least read yet most respected and influential non-gay web site for objective professional wrestling journalism and incessant Hulk Hogan bashing, Arabian Facebuster is proud to present The Fabulous Freebirds (R to L) -- Terry Gordy, Michael Hayes, and Buddy Roberts -- three blue collar, good ol' rednecks who love to brawl, swill beer, grow chest hair, shoot animals, fly the confederate flag, park pick up trucks in their yard, crank The Georgia Satellites at all hours of the night, and most certainly not have sex with men.

Have a look at this clip from Bill Watts' Universal Wrestling Federation of Michael Hayes covering Thin Lizzy's "The Boys Are Back in Town," the supplier of which unfortunately disabled embedding (he's probably a homo just like that Bart Batten). What Michael Hayes lacks in vocal range, wrestling talent, or ability to project an aura of machismo through his sneering and posturing, he more than makes up for with...um...errr...lots of interspliced footage of Terry Gordy acrimoniously delivering a barrage of piledrivers, snap suplexes, and powerslams on the likes of Bill Watts, Steve "Dr. Death Williams," and Ted DiBiase?!

On second thought, with all of Hayes' hip gyrations, pelvis thrusts, and brazen strutting -- notwithstanding the fact he is flamboyantly sprawled out on a piano wearing black spandex smartly accessorized with a pair of white tennis shoes and what appears to be a children's extra small sized t-shirt at the clip's crescendo -- this video is kinda gay too.

Oh well, better luck to us next time in putting forth some unequivocally heterosexual content. And thanks for your insights, Chip. I appreciate your commitment to the Arabian Facebuster project and commend your tasteful decoration of our corporate headquarters.

Now stop admiring my crotch and get back to work.