Friday, January 16, 2009

Reason #1 to Admire Killer Khan

It has been brought to my attention that vitriol and seething contempt leveled in the direction of a certain lacquery, leathery skinned cretin with an affinity for using his silicon enhanced, intellectually listless daughter to visually illustrate to this country's kindergartners and middle managers obligated to complete eight hours of sexual harassment training by their employer the difference between a "good touch," a "bad touch," and an "extended incestuous grope" has dropped off appreciably.

This ceasing and desisting is both intentional and voluntary. Sorry, I'm not going to besmirch Hulk Hogan's already tarnished reputation or those of his dysfunctional family and parasitic friends any longer. My friends, in 2009, you're going to be getting a kinder, gentler Facebuster. Instead of begrudging Hulk Hogan for being a complete, utter, and spectacular failure as a husband, father, professional wrestling tactician, and towel wave ambassador, Arabian Facebuster will instead be extolling the virtues and singing the praises of those who contribute to exposing Hulk Hogan for the worthless piece of garbage that he is.

So click here and we can get started with this dispositional transformation.

In addition to the green mist spewing prowess of Killer Khan, Mr. Fuji's incoherent yet sinister mutterings and whoever in the WWF wardrobe department was inspired to fit Jake Roberts for the Miami Vice garb as he pounded down -- judging by his slurred speech and glazed eyes -- about thirteen scotch n' sodas also warrant yr adulation and reverence.


Pencil Neck Geek said...

It's a brand new era, it feels great!

The payoff in that clip is absolutely worth listening to the Hulkster run his mouth for a minute and a half. When he gets the face full of green mist, I feel a degree of satisfaction akin to that of a firefighter pulling a small child from a burning building.

Whatever you do, never ever stop hyperlinking to the National Wave post. I watch it in its entirety every single time.

Malibu Sands said...

Agreed Pencil Neck Geek, the payoff is absolutely worth waiting impatiently for Hulk Hogan to wrap up his moralizing promo.

Jake Roberts attempt to aid and comfort the temporarily blinded Hogan really diminishes his coolness factor...hence the Miami Vice threads, no doubt.

The Rev. von Fury said...

Bravo to the new face of change on the Facebuster!

Let's admit it, in the waning days of "aught eight" it became increasingly difficult to accredit and account for the massive bundle of toxic credit this man and his "family" bought to our world.

From the promotion of no-talent "Saved by the Bell" alumnus to the top tiers of the hallowed halls of reality-celebrity wrestling, to the manipulation and outright misleading presentations of intelligence gathered by jail-house phone "conversat-izzms", the Hogan administration has betrayed its trust with the vitamin taking, prayer saying,
dirty, rotten wart-infested giant slaying public.

I say "bravo" to an end of chicanery and lack of intestinal fortitude. Join us in heralding in the end of the "Mania", and a new day dawning that rings in the glorious era known simply as "The Madness".

the rev.