Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Eddie Gilbert: Reckless Driver

Mel Gibson. Keith Richards. Creed's pompous front man and all around worthless piece of crap Scott Stapp. Chris Tucker. "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert. You may be asking, what do these men have in common? Do they all have the reputation for being difficult to work with? Perhaps. Did they get infected with a particularly resilient strain of gonorrhea after engaging in lewd and lascivious acts with Missy Hyatt? That certainly seems plausible. However, the answer will both astonish and appall: They have all been accused of recklessly operating a motor vehicle!!!

Thank you, anonymous YouTube user, for providing The Arabian Facebuster Driving School with this cautionary footage.

After getting fired from the USWA for committing numerous heinous atrocities, all of which likely involved some sort of mysterious white powder or a fireball, Eddie Gilbert, along with brother Doug (the Roger Clinton of the Gilbert brothers) prepare to depart the Memphis television studio for the final time. As Doug retrieves his crimson 1986 Mercury Sable from across the street, disgruntled brother Eddie gives one last beat-down to promoter Eddie Marlin in the parking lot. Jerry Lawler comes out to save Marlin and confront Gilbert. Not wanting a taste of the King's aristocratic vengeance, Gilbert retreats to the idling automobile. Brother Doug slides across the front seat into the shotgun position, alas fulfilling Eddie's dream to drive a car that cherry. Seconds later, in perhaps the most fantastically dickish, chicken-shit heel move that professional wrestling has ever witnessed, Eddie Gilbert runs over Jerry Lawler, and then drives away at prudent speed into the night, I mean late-morning. Meanwhile, Bill Dundee, a very young Double J, and a couple of unidentified neon trunk wearing, mullet sporting babyfaces rush to the King's side.

Legend has it, fans at the television taping called the Memphis police to report the vehicular assault (kayfabe rules!) and that a short time later, the police showed up at the studio looking to arrest Hot Stuff. Read more about it here and here. Enjoy this classic professional wrestling angle!

1 comment:

Apollo Spas said...

Best moment: At 1:22, a phantom voice calls out, "That ain't no stuntman."
Goddamn right. It's the one and only Jerry Lawler, clad in hypercolor and acid-washed denim.