Hogan Family Death Pool Scare

According to the Wrestling Observer via TMZ, the Hulkster had a bit of an issue involving his haaarrrtt, which I am surprised actually still functions at all based upon his assorted callousness and maliciousness over the years: Continually encouraging his daughter to whore it up for the purposes of attaining C-list celebrity status, recording an audio version of his autobiography seemingly entirely for the purposes of my degradation and discomfort, his most recent attempt at running a wrestling company into the ground (not that TNA! really needs the Hulkster's help in fulfilling that prophecy), his exercise in pathological victimization, truth evasion, sympathy seeking, remorselessness, and and brazen shamelessness on Larry King Live, and that whole God's will and John Graziano's negligence -- not the reckless and possibly impaired via a flavored alcoholic beverage targeted at women and homosexuals driving of my Idiot Son -- are the reason John is in a vegetative state justification.

Font color selected to match Hogan's skin tone:

Terry "Hulk Hogan" Bollea, 56, had a heart scare earlier this week according to TMZ.com

The web site reported this morning that Hogan was getting checked up in preparation for another back operation, and discovered a problem with his EKG. He was sent to a specialist, but after more extensive testing on his heart, Hogan was determined to be free of heart problems. The story noted that, understandably so, Hogan was worried for a few days.

My reaction to this blurb is decidedly mixed. On the one hand, the Hulkster has finally albeit fleetingly approached death's door. That's encouraging! On the other, it means Rev von Fury has emerged as the front runner in the Arabian Facebuster Hogan Family Death Pool, thereby putting him in position to take receipt and ownership of my mesh Schmidt's Beer hat. That's disappointing...

...for I have grown fond of that hat.