Friday, May 23, 2008
Feud of the Century: The Build-Up
Facebuster nation, this past week I unearthed my third favorite rasslin' related YouTube clip ever (here are the hands down first place finisher and distant first runner up -- which will be crowned my favorite should the winning footage be abruptly taken down and hence no longer able to fulfill its fit of laughter inducing duties). Other than the Hulk Hogan vs. Dungeon of Doom feud, recapped so meticulously on these pages, I am hard pressed to think of a more comically inept non-in-ring buildup to a feud in my 24 years of watching the professional rasslin' than the squabble between 76 year old Baron Von Raschke and Sheik Adnan El Kaise's dilapidated "army" of Soldat Ustinov and Teijo Kahn.
Of course, probably about 98% of the reason I find this footage so compelling are the animated bordering on manic mannerisms and tendencies of the AWA's resident interviewer and foremost cocaine connoisseur Larry Nelson. Be forewarned, the excessive yet poorly thought out use of analepsis as a storytelling device may leave you temporarily disoriented. Think The Usual Suspects with Larry Nelson assuming the role of Verbal Kint.
While I want to let this footage speak for itself, I encourage you to pay particular attention to:
(1) Larry Nelson pointing, screaming, and jumping as Soldat Ustinov nails the Baron over the head from behind with a flimsy board and drapes a Soviet flag over his corpse that appears to be in a state of rigor mortis (this HI-larious segment is available in its entirety here).
(2) Larry getting all Mike Wallace on Ustinov: "What in the world have you here and what is this lettering?" Um, Larry, its another flimsy board, this time with some faux Russian characters hastily scribbled upon it...most likely by preeminent calligrapher and spirograph aficionado Rocky Mountain Thunder.
(3) His startled reaction to the first appearance in the AWA of goofy face maker Teijo Kahn followed by another hard-hitting line of questioning directed at the pinko commie scumbag ("Who and what is this!?").
(4) "Oh jeez!!! Oh crimany!!!"
(5) Grandpa Baron's child molester mustache and his gesticulations that are evocative of the bluster and posturing you'd see before a bar fight between a couple of grizzled old-timers on the precipice of full blown dementia down at the VFW.