Monday, May 05, 2008

She's A Whore (Allegedly)

Our sources tells us that an escort agency called "Bella Models" is being investigated by the FBI (sadly, NOT the criminally underrated ECW Tag Team from the mid-to-late 90's), and the fine journalists over at Rolling Stone have linked WWE Diva Ashley Massaro to the ring. Ashley has, of course, denied everything on her MySpace account (declaring that she is "beyond upset," a claim borne out by the fact that she's too agitated to even include a "post song" with her denial [!]). The Double-Double-E is keeping uncharacteristcally mum about the whole thing.

In the spirit of inquiry, we here at Arabian Facebuster have launched our own investigation into the rumors swirling around this diminutive punk pixie. We swung by the escort agency's web site, but you have to sign up as a member to access any (alleged) pictures of Ashley (as well as finding out her hourly rate for "the ultimate in companionship"...sorry, cats, you've been replaced!), and we don't need that kind of heat from the feds, especially so close to tax season. We Google Image Searched some topless photos of her (strictly in the interest of journalism!). We also spent some quality time at burningangel.com because... fucking BECAUSE, OKAY?!

So anyway, Arabian Facebuster would like to offer Ashley our utmost support at this trying time. If she is in need of any sympathy, companionship (our rate is five bucks an hour PLUS a case of Iron City), or legal advice (intern Chip is taking a correspondence course), we will happily provide it.

Oh, and by the way... motherfkcers leave if ur gnaa hate!!!

1 comment:

Malibu Sands said...

Not to be too much of a kill joy, but the d-l on this whole situation is that it's a classic case of mistaken identity. As it turns out, there is a stripper/bikini model in Las Vegas also named Ashley Massaro and that she is the untalented, drugged out diva in question.

No word on whether this other Ashley is capable of executing a monkey flip or hair pull take down.