Like the backed up jail house toilet in the cell that his infantile, unrepentant, and hell bound son is now sharing with three other lil' hooligans, Hulk Hogan will be clogging the CNN airwaves tonight with a litany of implausible, disingenuous, and smug denials, rationalizations, justifications, and contritions for putting the blame squarely on the pinch-welt covered shoulders of John Graziano for the Idiot Son instigated car crash that left him in a vegetative state and for having the temerity to claim that this was God's way of punishing Graziano because of the "things he was into" (Being deployed and risking his life to fight in a wholly unnecessary and incompetently executed/managed war? Befriending a piece of shit like Nick Hogan?)...all whilst plugging the ratings disaster that is the second season of American Gladiators, his messy and seemingly never-ending divorce proceedings, the rewards of engaging in predatory sexual behavior towards one's daughter, the fact that he's filling up a chick physically akin and of similar age to Brooke with his demon batter, and whatever other sordid and dissolute details are revealed about the Hogan family between now and 8pm CDT.
And Arabian Facebuster has got you covered! We -- well, yours truly Malibu Sands -- will be semi-live blogging the proceedings tonight on Larry King Live...reframing the slow-pitch softball questions lobbed over by King (i.e. "How's your son holding up?"), deconstructing Hogan's evasive and self-righteous responses, and unleashing an acerbic critique against his shameless spin, perpetual self-promotion and self-absorption, and total moral bankruptcy and personal failings.
Plus, I'll be taking a shot of wine every time he utters the word "brother!!!" I believe this is what the kids today refer to as "appointment blog reading."
Update: Gentlemen, I am delighted to confirm that a four-pack of Riunite Lambrusco dell Emilla (which I procured, along with some jars of baby food, out of the clearance bin at the So-Low expired foods emporium in North Minneapolis) is officially on ice for tonight's festivities.