Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Misfireball



While we here at Arabian Facebuster are partial to the Oriental mist spewed by the likes of Kabuki, Muta, and Tajiri into an unsuspecting opponent's peepers (which undoubtedly has something to do with our affinity for Asian chicks), we also hold a certain reverence for the fireball as a debilitating foreign object, made infamous and thrown correctly by the likes of Jerry Lawler, Eddie Gilbert, The Sheik (Ed Farhat) and later his nephew Sabu, Jim Cornette (my favorite fireball moment of all time is when he threw one in the face of Ronnie Garvin in the spring of 1987, which led to brother [in real life his nephew] "Gorgeous" Jimmy Garvin unexpectedly rushing to his aid and eventually a babyface run against Flair & The Four Horseman), "The Sinister Minister" James Mitchell, and approximately 92% of the XPW lockeroom.

But what happens when the responsibility for elucidating the scalding and scarring properties of this noble art form falls upon a flame throwing neophyte? Witness Lord Jonathan Boyd from Portland wrestling, circa 1989. Arabian Facebuster would also like to extend a special "'atta boy" to lumbering stiff Brian Adams for stepping in and continuing/concluding the interview with his patented monotone cadence, uninspiring words of admonition towards The Barbarian, and employment of mixed metaphors ("whipping each other like a sharp knife") as Boyd scurries to the back to implore one of the boys for a ride to the Oregon Burn Center.

Somebody forward this footage to the producers at Dateline NBC. I can hear Stone Phillips now: "The pro wrestling fireball...innocuous scorcher of shoulder hair or deadly inferno? With more, here's Chris Hansen."

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