...Portland Airport*, it's The 2nd Annual Arabian Facebuster Staff Conference and Fan Conclave. And yours truly Malibu Sands will be flying in for the festivities!
August 21-23, 2008.
Panels, workshops, seminars, breakout sessions, multimedia screenings (i.e. a viewing of the Chyna-X-Pac sex tape debacle in Pencil Neck Geek's hotel suite and the premiere of a few more installments of Rev. Von. Fury TV), exclusive and unfiltered access to your favorite Arabian Faceubuster personalities, hot tubbing, vending machine usage, smoking in non-smoking designated rooms, incessant and excessive drinking, not cleaning up after yourself, and reasonably priced continental breakfasts will be the order of the weekend.
I have also submitted a modest proposal with the Shilo Inn's executive leadership team to rename this property The Malibu Sands Beach Club for the weekend in question; to which I have been assured that this request will be given the trustees' full and undivided consideration at their next meeting.
And our intern Chip is working diligently on securing a keynote speaker...overtures have been sent out to the personal assistant's for Larry Nelson, Don West, Mike Adamle, Nelson Frazier Jr. assuming the role he was born to play -- Big Gay Viscera, Rocky Mountain Thunder, John Graziano's half-brother that threatened Hulk Hogan with bodily harm via voice mail, anybody from the Wrestle Society X not named X-Pac or Vampiro, Bobby "Guy" Lashley, and Jeff Hardy's jizz rag. And rumors are swirling in political circles that none other than "Playboy" Buddy Rose (or at least somebody with either the first name "Buddy" or the last name "Rose") has been approached by the mayor to present the Facebuster's Portland office with a key to the city. Fantastic.
So come spend a late August weekend with all of us...at the Shilo Inn-Portland Airport!!!
*Unfortunately, the palatial Doubletree is already booked solid for that weekend, according to the curt and cantankerous hotel manager that I spoke with. Thinking back to last year's gathering, my decision to pull a Randy Orton and evacuate my bowels in the hotel pool, sauna, elevator, drinking fountain AND lobby might have had something to do with the discourteous customer service.