Reason #95 to Despise Hulk Hogan

Shamelessly copied and pasted from TMZ.com:

August 17 -- TMZ has learned that Hulk Hogan's Miami Beach home was robbed of a reported $100,000 worth of jewelry just last night. Damn!

The Hulkster and his family were in the process of moving out of their home, when the jewelry was reportedly taken from right under their nose. Some of the pricey gems that have gone missing include a diamond-encrusted watch and two gold chains.

Sources close to the Hogans tell TMZ that the family was in the middle of moving to a new Hulk-palace when they discovered that the jewelry was gone.

Allow me to pinpoint the target of my righteous indignation. I am in no way suggesting that this alleged protector of the republic should be reviled for having his home robbed and valuables stolen. Far from it. Yours truly Malibu Sands, along with the entire editorial staff of Arabian Facebuster and our go-getter intern Chip, don't look kindly upon those gainfully employed in the burgling profession. In this regard, we actually have (shudder) empathy for the Hulkster.

However, we unconditionally loathe this heavily lacquered exploiter of the mentally feeble and cognitively deficient for having the capital to purchase $100k worth of (undoubtedly ostentatious) jewelry.

And don't get me started on the PR firm retained by Lucifer and Hitler's offspring that had the audacity to waste the public's time and drain its attention span by issuing a press release about this nonsense. At least tack on a statement to the effect of "law enforcement authorities need the public's help in solving this case..If you have any information, contact blah blah blah"...otherwise, its nothing more than a thinly veiled plea for coverage and exposure by inane, rumormongering blather repositories such as TMZ.com, US Weekly and Access: Hollywood.

Note to self: renew US Weekly subscription.