We're Making Progress!

A mere six days into our War on Sportz Entertainment, the enemy -- those dastardly individuals responsible for sabotaging our beloved pro wrestling and transforming it into a farcical, third rate old timey variety show-- is already showing signs of appeasement.

Encouraging dispatches from the battlefield continue to trickle in. Tuesday night, Big Daddy V (pictured at left foreshadowing how the end of his date with Mae Young will turn out) wrestled not once...but twice. First, BDV decimated straight edge teen heartthrob (think Danny Bonaduce without the red hair, narcissism, proclivity for threatening his loved ones, and overall mental derangement) and number one contender to the prestigious ECW Title C.M. Punk by count-out. BDV then followed up that semi-competitive squash with the total annihilation of "The Innovator of Violence" Tommy Dreamer,( a man who's last pin-fall victory came when George W. Bush's approval numbers were hovering north of 40%!).

By no means should this olive branch from the Tower's Titan be construed as a reason to let down our guard or lessen our resolve to win. Rest assured, this significant progress only reinforces our determination for nothing less than unconditional surrender and complete acquiescence to our demands, particularly the one that involves publicly executing The Miz.

Arabian Facebuster realizes that this war is going to be a long, hard slog. We aren't ready to fly a "Mission Accomplished" banner from high atop our majestic office building just yet. However, if say next Tuesday night Big Daddy V wrestles four squash matches under the "Big Gay Viscera" moniker, we might be persuaded into deploying all of our resources against TNA.

And Hulk Hogan. He's really been gnawing at my craw lately!