We Watch Wrestling, Exhibit B

We watch wrestling to behold the pageantry and excellence of the incomparable "Nature Boy" Ric Flair.

We also watch wrestling to witness the methodical and ruthless dismantling of a schluby, soulless jobber, i.e. the (uncompetitive) squash match. The almost senseless beating that Stan Hansen's inflicts on the hapless Don Herbert in the embedded clip above is the epitome of this type of professional wrestling contest. Herbert gets in absolutely no offense whatsoever, not even a token side headlock or feeble punch to Hansen's thick torso. And that's the way it should be. For all of the time and effort it took to find a babysitter for the kids, grease up his mullet, and make the 90 minute drive in his 76 AMC Pacer from the trailer park to the arena, Herbert gets absolutely annihilated in short-order by some of the most rancorously and cantankerously delivered offense that you will ever witness: clubbing overhead blows, nasty elbow smashes to the head, a punishing rear chin lock (when was the last time you actually smiled at the sight of a rear chin lock being applied), and even a thundering drop kick(!!!), eventually succumbing to "the lariat" clothesline. On the bright side, Herbert was no doubt able to swing by the Western Union before it closed and cash his modest yet hard earned paycheck, allowing him to pick up a half-rack of Busch Light to fire back on the long drive home and the opportunity to reimburse the babysitter for her evening's work with a currency far more tangible than sexual servitude.

Of course, the entire viewing experience and is enhanced by the NWA's trademark noisy ring ropes, understated arena atmosphere (sans the flood light illuminating the ring for television taping purposes), and sober commentary of David Crockett and Johnny Weaver.

Enjoy.