Unless you have been living under a rock, held against your will in the dank basement of one Pat Patterson, or trapped in the abandoned WCW Power Plant in an urban exploring adventure gone awry, you have undoubtedly heard the news that Rob Van Dam has decided not to re-up/re-sign with World Wrestling Entertainment. His “farewell” match will take place this Sunday at One Night Stand against terror watch list suspect and all around shitty guy -- pun damn well intended -- Randy Orton.
On behalf of the readership of Arabian Facebuster (Hi, Mrs. Spas!), I want to wish Rob Van Dam good health and happiness and during this well deserved sabbatical from profressional wrestling. I'm sure when his no-compete clause expires, we'll be seeing his flippity-floppity acrobatics and tired thumb pointing antics (see Figure 1.A above) in the hexagonal ring of TNA. In the interim, Rob, spend some quality time with your kids, help your wife out around the house, and for chrise sakes man, learn how to throw a realistic looking punch.
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