Bad enough that Our Beloved Sabu (tm) has had his contract terminated by the double-double E. Worse that poor RVD will be hitting that lonely (pot-addled) highway as well. The crowning insult, however, is that RVD will be facing everyone's least favorite pistol-packing, gym-bag crapping, hotel-room wrecking mental health risk at the upcoming One Night Stand PPV. That's right, fans (?). RVD versus Randy Orton in a "Stretcher Match", live from the ECW arena in Jacksonville, Florida!Is this how it ends? Is this the match that will end Rob Van Dam's ECW career? An incontinent, heavily-armed manchild will pretend to beat him up while a team of failed Hollywood Script-puncher-uppers beat up his contract in Real Life?
Look, rumor has it that RVD's been wrestling semi-hurt for a while, and with his hetero lifemate Sabu getting shitcanned, it seemed like prime time to seek the proverbial greener pastures (insert RVD weed joke? Meh.). Fine, whatever. It would just be nice if the WWE could give him a better sendoff than a savage (and unwatchable) beating from a terminal jackoff like Randy Orton.
Ah, well. Looks like all you Arabian Facebuster Readers (hi, mom!) will be getting a lot more mean-spirited snark and a lot less genuine enthusiasm for wrestling in the future. That's what you guys like best, anyway, right? Right? Hello?
Fuck. Just go read RVD's blog. It's funnier than this old thing, anyway.
2 comments:
Shouldn't that Orton shirt read "Born Better THAN you" instead of THEN you?
Yeah, well... that's the WWE braintrust for you. And that's Randy Orton for you.
I dearly wish that this shirt had actually been produced.
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