But He Did Stay at a Holiday Inn Express

In case anyone was concerned as to the whereabouts of Randy Orton (pictured at left doing an impression of a Korean with a migraine) on last night’s RAW, fear not, he wasn’t murdered, abducted, jailed or anything comparatively nightmarish. As it turns out, last weekend this overpushed youngster was sent home early from the WWE’s tour of Europe for trashing one of the continent's finer motor lodges. No word as to whether Mr. Orton rode business class or suffered the indignity of flying coach on his trip back to the states.

According to a well placed source within the company, who requested anonymity in discussing the matter, “As a result of Randy’s sudden departure and harsh admonishment, locker room morale has plummeted to an all-time low. But perplexingly, the number of unattended gym bags NOT being mysteriously defecated in is at a five year high.”

If you ask me, this whole situation sounds like a classic case of mistaken identity. Rest assured, Arabian Facebuster will pass along any additional information as it is made available.