Monday, November 01, 2010

Reason #1 to Despise Our World's Worst Worker Search

Facebuster Nation, for four years now, I've been warning you that Hulk Hogan is a glory hog, a Rasputin, a snake oil salesmen, a dissolute, a scam artist, a craven albeit master manipulator, a narcissist, an enabler, a huckster, a habitual liar, a hypocrite, a back stabber, an unmitigated and spectacular failure as both a father and husband, a piece of trash, a mindless blatherer and egomaniacal twitter video uploader, and to paraphrase a line from an enraged Magnum T.A., quite possibly the lowest form of scum walkin' on God's green Earth.

Well now the Hulkster has thrown his hat (worn to cover up his baldness) and easy rip t-shirt of suckitude in our World's Worst Worker ring.

And wouldn't you know it, he gets not one but two You Too clips to support his highly convincing case. The clip above features the Hulkster botching the timing of the most basic of offensive maneuver and one of about four wrestling holds actually in his repertoire -- a clothesline -- against "The Model" Rick Martel. At first glance, it might appear that Martel is at fault. But look closer...Hogan delivers/applies the move in the exact spot where Martel is too far from the ropes to tumble over or through them, but too close to the ropes to take a standard bump.

The clip below features the Hulkster in his finest hour of atrociousness, meticulously chronicled here at Arabian Facebuster: His asinine and excruciatingly drawn out feud with Kevin Sullivan's Dungeon of Doom that featured a smashed up motor cycle, monster truck battle on the roof of the hockey arena in Detroit, the increasingly insane antics of Hogan wing man Randy "Macho Man" Savage, a highly amusing mustache shaving, and lots of corny promos and campy super villains hellbent on the destruction of Hulkamania, circa 1995/1996. While this video is of a post match scrum as opposed to an actual match, Hogan's terribleness is on full display for all to witness, from his highly telegraphed and exaggerated right haymakers delivered directly onto his left hand which is being used to hold and position his victim's cranium, to his plodding selling of the Giant's beatdown, to pretty much any and all of his facial expressions and hand gestures of moral outrage.

Special bonus appearance by the block of ice which contains The Yetti for those of you that are able to see the clip through to its uninteresting conclusion.

Gentlemen, I think we might have a winner.

1 comment:

Pencil Neck Geek said...

The Yeti was in that block of ice!?! Jeez, spoiler alert...

The fact that the Hulkster can be singled out for his poor work rate in a ring containing The Shark, Ed Leslie, and a mid-90's vintage Lex Luger truly says something.

I've seen Tom Magee deliver stiffer blows!