Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Reason #1 to Despise Hulk Hogan...The Prologue

Per last year’s WrestleMania wager, as comeuppance for my shitty prognosticating, and with this year’s iteration and stakes is high betting pool looming large on the horizon, I am finally prepared to recap “Hollywood Hulk Hogan,” an abridged book on tape version of the waste of ink, paper, and ghost writer time and talent that shares the same title.

And because I’ve been such a slacker on getting to this (wouldn’t you too???), instead of simply enduring all two hours worth of the Hulkster’s audio ramblings whilst engrossed in household chores (aka cleaning up the wreckage that the weekend’s gaggle of scantily clad cabin fatties wrought at Malibu Manner) and slapping together a lone, perfunctory, half-hearted blog post before returning to documenting the spot botching tendencies of Rocky Mountain Thunder and the wacky, coked to the gills shenanigans of the “Boogie Woogie Man” Jimmy Valiant, I am going to spread out and pace my undivided agony over the course of two weeks and four blog posts, one post for each side of audio cassette tape.

The silver lining in this balding, wrinkly tangerine skinned cloud: I get to get piss fucking drunk for four evenings, not just one. Think of it as part of my training regimen in preparation for the 4th annual AFSC&FC.


Enjoy…the torture of Malibu Sands.


7 comments:

The Rev. von Fury said...

As giddy as I am with the sheer anticipation of such goodness, I have to pause and ask: What, oh what will the prize be for this years "Stakes is High"?

The Rev. von Fury said...

Now, with more Bollea and less Boa!

Malibu Sands said...

A good question you raise, Rev. Von Fury...what stakes if any should we have this year.

Of course, the precedent set by PNG and I over the last couple of years -- waiting until the 11th hour (WrestleMania) in obligation and satisfaction of the stakes is high terms and conditions -- might need to be revisited/reconciled, particularly with da Facebster's indefinite hiatus looming on the horizon.

Pencil Neck Geek said...

Hmmm... Any Billy Gunn books on tape or pornography out there on The Internets?

Perhaps the loser downs a 4 pack of Hulkster Cheeseburgers at the conclusion of Wrestlemania and we call it good.

The Rev. von Fury said...

Perhaps a compulsory viewing of the 3 disc-set career retrospect known as "The Twisted, Disturbed Life of Kane" might be in order...

Malibu Sands said...

3 discs worth of Kane viewed in its entirety.

I like that...a lot.

Another candidate could be the Mr. Fuji shoot interview...

Apollo Spas said...

I vote for the Kane DVD set. Methinks the Mister Fuji interview would have too much actual entertainment value, thus reducing the punishment quotient below acceptable levels. That said, I may be setting myself up for a fall here, as I have watched maybe thirty minutes of modern "wrestling" over the course of the last six months.