Friday, March 05, 2010

Great Moments in Chest Hair History

In honor of chest hair's resurgence in terms of fashionability and mainstream social acceptance thanks to the trim n' wax neglecting/forgetting efforts of one C.M. Punk, Arabian Facebuster is proud to bring to you bearded torso pioneer Dutch Mantell in action against bald bodied Danny Davis, better known around these parts as one-half of The Nightmares tag team combination. Judging by his physique in this earlier photo, Davis must have using steroids and supplements with the same fervor and frequency as his Norelco electric shaver.

This clip, featured on the syndicated Pro Wrestling This Week/PWTW (which was sort a Sports Center of wrestling, highlighting the happenings of all of the different promotions and territories and featuring a couple of joined in progress matches from various federations) emanates from the Continental (Fuller) promotion which operated out of Knoxville and throughout much of Alabama and is for some sort of singles title. The Southeastern Heavyweight Championship? Possibly the Alabama Heavyweight Championship?

Unfortunately, chicanery is afoot in the form of highly illegal outside interference by shirt wearing "Wildcat" Wendell Cooley. Based on his dastardly actions, I think we can safely conclude that there is no luxurious expanse of locks underneath that shirt. Regrettably, Cooley's clothesline allows the unprickled and glossy skinned Davis to get the better of our noble furry warrior and misappropriate his title.

Curses! Another one of our whiskery trunked brethren sabotaged yet again by an insecure, spiteful, follicly deficient low life. Why do they hate us so much? This isn't a great moment in chest hair history. It's an awful, awful moment. And quite possibly the awfullest.

But I digress.

At the end of the match, there is a brief -- we're talking half a second at best -- shot of the PWTW anchors Gordon Solie (who also happened to be the play-by-play guy for Continental and thus calls the match with broadcast partner Robert Fuller/Col. Robert Parker) and "The Round Mound of Sound" Joe Pedicino, the gold standard of girth by which all cabin fatty pickups and hookups are judged.

Please also file this clip under the title "Great Moments in Back Hair History."

No comments: