The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

There has been a renaissance here at Arabian Facebuster with regard to the quality of content, enthusiastic contributions by all members of our collaborative, and overall recommitment to conducting an exhaustive inquiry into professional wrestling's essence. Think Harlem in the 1920s minus the bustle and gritty urban veneer...oh, and the black people.

From Apollo's intriguing high stakes wager that makes Disco Inferno's weekly poker game seem like a laid-back afternoon at the nickel slots by comparison, to Pencil Neck Geek's magnum opus that appears poised to sweep this year's Facebustery's, to Rev. von Fury returning to the flock like a house of fire (as opposed to a trailer on fire), our dedication to our craft has never been more apparent, nor has the profoundity of our output been as unrelenting.

Even yours truly Malibu Sands is feeling a sense of rejuvenation. Or that could just be the 3 bald eagle egg omelette I had for breakfast this morning. Case in point: Seeing as how I took today off of work from my high pressured job as a security guard at the local pet food warehouse, I decided to stay up late last night and enjoy another installment of AWA Championship Wrestling on espn cLASSIC. Unfortunately, this episode -- originally broadcast in August, 1986 -- did not arouse the same feelings of fondness and nostalgia for the American Wrestling Association as last week's program. Instead, it illuminated why the AWA was having problems attracting/retaining talent and drawing/not pissing off fans at this point in their existence.

Onto the recap...

The Good

• With the exception of Larry Zbyszko's clinic on stalling, pacing around ringside, mouthing off to incompetent referee Gary DeRusha, and looking perturbed (seriously, five minutes had elapsed in the match before the first lock-up), Larry and his partner, the masked ninja from the Orient Mr. Go, had a fun, fast paced, crisply wrestled match with The Midnight Rockers. This contest further cemented Larry Z as one of the better sellers back in the day, in particular his violent rendition of being on the receiving end of a turnbuckle smash.
• Larry Nelson's intake of cocaine and Dewar's high balls prior to announcing the matches appears to have increased appreciably over the spring and summer of 1986. In this edition, he was glossy eyed, stumbling over his words, flaccid in exiting the ring, and incapable of holding his microphone steady, let alone anywhere near his mouth or that of his interviewees. He is an absolute joy to watch.
  

The Bad

• 1/2 of the AWA Tag Team Champs Doug "Pretty Boy" Somers (pictured above with his partner in crime, the incomparable "Playboy" Buddy Rose) earned a convincing victory over jobber Klaus Von Hindenberg (or something in approximation) -- who looks likes some schlep Verne plucked from a Showboat baccarat table to take a quick beating in exchange for two buffet coupons, $10 in chips, and a couple of bumps from Larry Nelson's stash as opposed to an actual German national with a wrestling background -- via a nearly botched garden variety vertical suplex.
  
• I swear that over half of this show was comprised over commercials. The most egregious moment was at about 15 minutes into the broadcast when after coming back from a 3+ minute commercial break, a brief interview was aired with fossil AWA Champion Nick Bockwinkel -- we're talking no more than 60 seconds -- followed by another 3+ minute block of commercials. Upon returning, another 60 second interview was shown, this time with Dana Gagne (Verne's daughter who played a gossip/rumor "reporter" for the federation) who says absolutely nothing of import. This was followed by, you guessed it, another prolonged commercial break. Maddening.
  

The Ugly

• The commentary of Rod Trongard and Lord James Blears was absolutely atrocious. Trongard has seemingly never observed a wrestling hold that he didn't deem worthy of placing the term "smash" at the end of (elbow smash, turnbuckle smash, knee drop smash, arm bar smash, et al.) while Blears color work is like the hypothetical byproduct of combining the apathetic delivery and monotone cadence of Bruno Sammartino with the shrewd insights and razor sharp wit of Steve Mongo McMichael.
• Jimmy "Super Fly" Snuka scored a pin fall victory over Don Fargo -- whose bleach blond hair, brown beard, heavily tattooed torso, beer gut, black spandex tights, brown moccasin boots, and all around surly "biker gang member" attitude make him a front runner to be featured as the AWA representative in next month's "Old Skool Jobber of the Week" photo expose -- via top-rope flying body press smash. Despite demonstrating the energy and agility of a cadaver, laying motionless on the mat and letting Fargo do all of the work until it was time to unload a couple of chops, body slam smash your opponent, nearly botch your finisher, and pick up the "W," Snuka was gasping for breath and perspiring something fierce during the post-match interview. In Jimmy's defense, however, this bout did take place smack dab in the middle of a sixteen year drug binge, so I'm going to cut him some slack for this pitiful effort and for dripping a puddle of vile secretion at Larry Nelson's feet.
  

I can't wait to see what transpires tonight!