Tuesday, January 09, 2007

RAW is Indecipherable

From the incoherent lunatic backstage ramblings of the Great Khali (insert random keyboard strokes here to approximate transcription), to the equally incoherent lunatic in-ring ramblings of the Great Khali (awkwardly bellowing "Aaaarrrrgggg" to the rafters after every less than convincing knockdown of John Cena), to the incomprehensible, time-filling jibber jabber between fake Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell, to the affable Commie oaf Vladimir Kozlov (the guy pictured above who looks like the hypothetical love child of Batista and Shane McMahon) twice mispronouncing the name of the very company that signs his undeservedly gigantic paychecks ("I love double double E, I love double double E,"), I imagine that last night's episode of RAW frustrated and perplexed linguists and etymologists alike.

Update: Preliminary chatter from the academic community seems to support my contention. According to notorious ivory tower lefty George Lakoff, The George "The Animal" Steele Endowed Professor of Linguistics at the University of California at Berkeley, "USA brands itself as the network to find compelling, complex, and relatable characters. However, after viewing last night's egregious episode of RAW, seemingly the only 'characters welcome' on its network are inscrutable Neanderthals and mush-mouthed celebrity imposters. For shame."

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