Friday, September 11, 2009

Why We Watch, Exhibit T

During the past two years, Arabian Facebuster has brought to you some of the most memorable and venerated matches, angles, personalities, territories/federations, and elements in the annals of professional rasslin' history through its "Why We Watch" feature/series. Over this period, we have featured but only a few of the dastardly exploits of the personification of 1980s cowardly heelishness and the CEO and Executive Vice President of Tully Blanchard Enterprises, Incorporated...Tully Blanchard, specifically his (a) dapperly attired retaliation against Magnum T.A. for The Boss's audacity to suck Baby Doll's horse face and stick his slippery tongue down her gaping throat (AKA the "she likes it, she likes it, look at her" moment, as so giddily vocalized by David Crockett) (b) meticulous folding chair placement and sharply delivered jabs during a gangland style attack on the Road Dogg's exponentially more talented brother; and (c) provision of aid, comfort, and stompin' assistance to Gino Hernandez in his steel chained beatdown of "The Ragin' Bull" Manny Fernandez.

If Tully's been reading th' Facebuster -- and we have not one compelling reason or shroud of empirical evidence to prove he doesn't -- he must feel a bit slighted and underappreciated for not being the focal point of our reminiscence and admiration.

Until now.

The clip above is just packed with Tully Blanchard related goodness. Specifically, it features the formal dissolution of the Tully Blanchard-Baby Doll relationship over unapproved PTO and implied suspicions of honky tonkin', the official formation of the Tully-JJ Dillon union that would eventually be incorporated into the Four Horsemen and such a vital cog in the group's overall success, some good natured man-on-woman violence, the hug smothering of David Crockett by JJ, the beginning of the implausible "Dusty's gettin' it on with a woman not shaped like a hippopotamus" direction/storyline that to the surprise of no one would eventually leave the Dream betrayed, broken hearted and even huskier than ever, the transference of ownership of the -- to quote a certain Sexy Action News team member's short lived, imbecilic girlfriend -- hot commodity in question in a most expedient and in this observer's opinion sensible manner, what I believe is the lone appearance of Dusty's "No Retreat" tee-shirt, smartly accentuated by jeans and jean jacket (AKA Double Trouble) purchased from the local plus-sized denim liquidation outfitters, and a concluding promo that is at once urgent, assertive, pointed, prognostic, controlled, indignant, credible, and oh so compelling.

The T in this example of why we watch pro rasslin' finery stands for Tully Blanchard...Lesson Teacher!

1 comment:

The Rev. von Fury said...

As no credible evidence has thus far been produced to the contrary, we can only rightly assume that indeed Mr. Blanchard will certainly have seen this post and is no-doubtedly feeling far better about his representation here on the AFB.