Monday, July 27, 2009

Why We Watch, Exhibit S

For quite some time now, I've been planning to honor The Four Horsemen circa 1986-1988 (not the later day versions that featured such stains as Sid Vicious, Paul Roma, Jeff Jarrett, and Steve "Mongo" McMichael whose perplexing and often expedient inclusion ultimately tarnished the luster and legacy of the group) for (a) delivering both in the ring and on the stick; (b) being among the first "cool heels" where you'd feel compelled to cheer the bad guys and root against the good guys; and (c) their ruthless and violent gang style beatdowns of seemingly all of babyfaces and jobbers that had a cup of coffee with Jim Crockett Promotions during this period.

The clip I was hoping to embedded in order to illustrate these contentions, point 3 in particular, was footage from a Clash of the Champions in June, 1988 where Flair, Blanchard, Double A, JJ Dillon, and newly turned heel and anointed Horsemen Barry Windham put the boots to Lex Luger in a sadistic arena parking lot attack just moments after "The Total Package" disembarked from his Lincoln Continental limousine, causing severe lacerations to the TP's horse face and leaving footprints all over his fucking white tuxedo! After inflicting this carnage, the Horsemen dumped Luger's body into the trunk of the very limo he arrived in. Now that's how you do irony.

Simply put, for me, this is among the top three satisfying and gratifying rasslin' moments of all time.

Unfortunately, this viral video is no longer available. After much futile scouring, I have come to the conclusion that the Poindexters at World Wrestling Entertainment forced Youtube to put a cease and desist on the original clip poster's account as he/she had run afoul of WWE copyright and thus Youtube's terms of use agreement.

Phrased differently, the WWE has yet again hosed rasslin' fans everywhere.

Rest assured, if this now infamous clip ever resurfaces on the interwebs, Arabian Facebuster will bring it to you. In the interim, allow me to draw your attention to the mauling of unheralded, underrated, and under appreciated plucky mid-card babyface Brad Armstrong by the original collective. There is so much goodness crammed into two and one half minutes here (the last minute is a slow motion replay of the attack as the NWA Pro Wrestling credits roll) -- Flair's canary yellow Member's Only jacket, Tully Blanchard's watermelon colored dress pants, of course Arn's gourdbuster on the folding chair, and as was the style of the time, a delayed rescue and heel scattering by a contingent (specifically, Barry Windham, Ron Garvin, and The Rock &/or Roll Express) from the babyface locker room.

It's too bad that Lex Luger wasn't on the receiving end of this mugging too.


The Rev. von Fury said...

Such a Furious Clip! Tully and the Minn. Wrecking Crew are some of the most straight up beat down artists of the biznazzz, as they say...

Corr. if I'm wrong, but didn't B.A. languish is Portland for a Piece back in the day? Just thinking he sounds familiar.

Malibu Sands said...

To my knowledge, Brad never wrestled in Portland. He cut his teeth in the Continental/Southeastern and Georgia territories (where his daddy Bullet Bob Armstrong was a mainstay)and spent the mid 1980s-mid1990s in the NWA and WCW.

I wonder if one of his many brothers - Steve or Scott (who I believe is a referee for the WWE) but hopefully not younger sibling and white trash ditch weed connoisseur Road Dogg Jesse James Armstrong -- spent some time up there.

Hmm, if this alumni roster is to be believed, no Armstrong brother was ever part of the territory.

Maybe you're thinking of Ricky Vaughn aka Lance Von Erich?!?

And speaking of Furious, I finally caved and purchased some Surly tall boys this past weekend. So delicious. So devastating.