Back from the front with observation...and a few disparate cogitations to impart from last month's Third Annual Arabian Facebuster Staff Conference and Fan Conclave.(1) Recommended: Smoking moderately priced cigars while watching Ric Flair vs. Steamboat from Chi-Town Rumble 89 on the TV & VCR provided by The Shilo Inn-Portland Airport Cigar Lounge. Not Recommended: Being joined by a couple of cigar savvy and knowledgeable enough about rasslin' to name drop a few rasslers and reminisce about sitting around getting drunk on a Saturday morning watching the matches taped at the local grapplarium businessmen as you puff on (aka re-light every 4 minutes or so) said stogies and observe said Flair-Steamboat contest intently but minus the normal rampant marking out that would make you seem like an immature and wholly unserious jack ass around men with jibs of this cut.
(2) The supernatural, James Earl Jones sounding "narrating voice" of TNA (think: Kurt Angle (two second pause)...Jeff Jarrett (two second pause)...The Icon Sting! (again, two second pause)..TNA presents [insert PPV name]) is far easier to imitate than Don West. Except after one has had about 1/2 dozen tall boys with one eye on the televised sportz entertainment and the other on the perps in Bu$ted (Rocky Peoples, in particular), in which case the exasperated bordering on exhausted tone, gruff cadence, and illogical and haphazard face/heel reactions of Don West flow oh so naturally and prolifically.
(3) Watching X-Pac take a barrage of punishment: Great entertainment! Watching X-Pac take a barrage of punishment from a gaggle of rudo lucha-clowns (who presumably carpooled to the arena together in a Volkswagen Beetle): The greatest entertainment!!!
(4) Takes On Matters is poised to supplant Arabian Facebuster in terms of mainstream acceptance and goodwill by the year 2015.
(5) Mark Swaggle appears to be the WWE's earnest and this observer's opinion inspired attempt at contrition and reconciliation for dropping the ball on Big Gay Viscera.
(6) No matter how charming of a first impression he might make, DO NOT befriend Kurt Angle under any circumstances.
(7) Squeezing a talking Randy Orton doll simultaneously engenders feelings of exhilaration and shame within me.
(8) Yrs truly Malibu $and$ needs to put his liver through an even more rigorous training regimen in anticipation of next year's AFSC&FC. SurlyFest 2009, here I come!
1 comment:
Excellent recap, $and$! Rocky Peoples will no doubt be thrilled to have his name pop up in a non-Bu$ted related Google search.
I figured that X-Pac and the Clowns were just a strange hallucination experienced whilst nearly black out drunk and searching ye old DVR for another Teddy Hart match.
Anyhow, back to squeezing my talking Randy Orton doll...
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