Reason #117 to Despise Hulk Hogan...

...For demonstrating a full range of movement, motion, and head contortions while trying to sell a serious neck injury during this hackneyed, unintentionally hilarious, monster truck showdown promoting, PastaMania! not yet insolvent era babyface promo on The (big, no good, nasty, stinky, and allegedly wart infested) Giant, (pint sized, fragrant, clear skinned) Kevin Sullivan, and their inept eradication of Hulkamania aspiring enterprise otherwise known as the Dungeon of Doom (or as the Hulkster likes to refer to them as, the Dungeon of Goons, brother!).

To the Hulkster's *shudder* credit, however, he has provided me with the perfect retort for anytime anyone questions my whereabouts or second guesses my actions or decisions: "Well you know [insert name of person forced to endure my demented ramblings], they thought we were dead but we're not even down and out, brother!"

Point: Malibu!

Ditto to employing the whole "64, 65 neck lifts" shtick when a non-cabin fatty saunters on by when I'm feebly attempting do crunches at the gym. Or when I'm doing Riunite shots during next week's 2nd and 1/2 Annual Arabian Facebuster Staff Conference and Fan Conclave.