Tuesday, May 05, 2009

If These Trunks Could Talk...

Whoa- look at all this Randy Savage ring gear for sale on eBay! Perhaps even the former "Macho King" is not impervious to the impact of these troubled economic times. One day you're enjoying a spirited round of croquet with Robin Leach on your expansive estate, the next pandering to pathetic collectors hoping that they will plunk down their hard earned dough for one of your neon checkered cowboy hats.

Well, this pathetic collector wants a piece of the action! What do you say fellows, shall we chip in on this stunning ensemble? While we might not be able to afford it individually, this vision of tasselled glory is well within our collective grasp. Malibu Sands can have custody this spring in order to welcome the throngs of eager attendees to the 2 and 1/2 Annual Arabian Facebuster Staff Conference and Fan Conclave in lovely St. Paul, MN. This summer, the elite of Sun Valley will be abuzz as the Reverend Von Fury gallivants about town in Savage's stunning attire. As for the fall and winter, Apollo Spas and I will have to share custody in Portland: I'll take Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays, and alternating Sundays. Inquiries from any other prospective shareholders are welcomed.

Look, I understand that times are tight. I don't expect anyone to make any unreasonable sacrifices (i.e. beer) to make this dream a reality. Taking a cue from the Savage's Macho Enterprises, we can profit from our own ever-burgeoning Internet celebrity with a little sidewalk sale of our own. I'll go first:

This historic pair of khaki Dockers features a worn back pocket, authentic pastor burrito grease spots, and is autographed by yours truly.

The bidding begins at $25 dollars, but I am willing to accept Hamm's tall boys in trade. Dig it!!!


Malibu Sands said...

The bidding for the autographed khaki's commences at $25!?!? In that case, put me down at $50. I want these pants bad.

Here's hoping that Buck "Rock n' Roll" Zumhoff is forced to sell off his Elvis suit in lieu of the economic downturn. Or his rasslin' "ring."

The Rev. von Fury said...

What about the limited edition, signed PNG BVD's you had promised?

goddamdirtyhippie said...

I have some dirty RANDY socks for you.


Don't stick your hand in them.

Pencil Neck Geek said...

First the bad news- the PNG BVDs are all sold out. The good news- a fresh supply of Buck Zumhoff BVDs just arrived today. Call now and I'll throw in an "authentic" Rocky Mountain rope belt absolutely free!

And re: dirty RANDY socks- Eeeeeeew!

Malibu Sands said...

Where's the love on this thread for the Jeff Hardy jizz rag?

Pencil Neck Geek said...

I figure that the jizz rag love is implied in everything we do.