As the Twenty Fifth Anniversary of our dearly beloved Wrestlemania fast approaches, I'd just like to add just a tiny bit of inspiration for those lucky enough to be able to attend in the flesh our North Portland Sunday service for the faithful.
You see, it's not enough to just place all our early eggs in one basket with just one massive wager. We here need something, or someone, to look upon during the inevitable dark moments of our impending grappling nuptials and derive from it, or him, strength, poise, and inspiration:
"...For woe unto him he who fails to fully slacken his thirst first in the intitiary Communion challenge known now and anon as "Chug-A-Beer". For he who so failith will be bequeathed, nay Anointed, with this divine polyester shirt. Behold unto us, its mighty spikey like flames. A divine fashion forward piece of 90's tailer park ice filtered beer menthol and rap-metal Whisky Tango pret-a-portier shall don he and he compelled to don it. And Behold! We shall for the duration of the debacle, much to his chagrin and the inevitable tee-hee's of we, his immediate and faithful peers, know him as "Randy"..." revs.4:32 1/2
So it is Written. So it Shall Be. See you on Sunday Bitches.