What In The World Have We Here...

No Facebuster Nation, yr peepers are not playing tricks on you. Yes, that's the awning from Pastamania!, Hulk Hogan's futile attempt to siphon the customer base of the Olive Garden and cut into the market share of Chef Boyardee as a pre-whoring out his husky and slow-witted daughter approach towards income diversification. It appears to have been affixed on the side or rear of an unkempt storefront, perhaps as some sort of joke or ruse. The distinctive colorful high-rise, low-income building eye sore behind it verifies that this awning is located in the Cedar-Riverside neighborhood of Minneapolis, just steps from the Triple Rock Social Club and its free bacon, $2 PBR tall boy Wednesday's and the Town Hall Brewery with its high octane growlers of IPA and Hefeweizen. The "612" area code on the towing sign and aqua-n-white license plates on the idle minivans (whose owners likely drive them at 10 miles below the posted speed limit at all times) lends further credence to my awesome powers of skyline recognition.

Therefore, as part of the 2nd and 1/2 annual Arabian Facebuster Staff Conference & Fan Conclave, I propose that we rent a nondescript, unmarked delivery truck, pay a visit this authentic artifact of sports entertainmentcana in the shadow of the "crack stacks" as they are commonly known around these parts even though its tenants are predominantly Somali and East African immigrants, steal the awning under the cover of darkness (a reference to the time of day, not an insinuation that we assimilate a heavily armed, poorly trained, trigger happy band of Somalis into our felonious yet pious plans), celebrate our successful and highly lucrative heist with swine and ale from the nearby emporiums, and fasten said plunder above the back deck at Malibu Manor.

Then Buck "Rock & Roll" Zumhoffe will surely be willing to put on one of his renowned backyard wrestling, barbecue, karaoke, meth smoking, and arbitrary pants removing extravaganzas.

Additional reconnaissance of the surrounding area may be performed here.

Update: According to one of the Pastamanioids, the building in question has been demolished. Drats, my best laid plans foiled again!

Later Update: A blog chronology of the destruction is available for yr perusal here. I've added my favorite photo from this gentleman's site in the body of this post.