Monday, April 13, 2009

Teddy Hart Movie Update!

I experienced no small amount of heart(heh)ache upon discovering that the trailer for "Ted Hart's Truth and Reality" had been pulled from the youtubes. Besides rendering most of the jokes in my post incomprehensible, it also created a yawning void in my soul... a void that could only be filled by footage of Teddy Hart drinking, buying iced-out Jesus necklaces, and eating burritos. A void that howled for the sweet, soothing, emotionally blank voice of the film's narrator reading (awkwardly) off of cue cards. A void, in short, that is FILLED TO BURSTIN' by the brand new trailer shown above!!!!

So, it looks like they changed the title of this little baby from "Ted Hart's Truth and Reality" to the MUCH less awkward "A Hart Sill Pounding: The Truth and Reality of Ted Hart: The Tribulations and Triumphs of Ted Hart." Awesome. They also seem to have scrapped the bulk of the film in order to make room for footage of the new "Lucha Libre" chapter in Our Ted's stunning career.

Thrill! To the finest flippity-floppity-floo our sport has to offer!

Gasp! At the narrator's difficulty in pronouncing Mexican place-names!

And Puzzle! At the forty-five seconds of blank screen tacked on the end of this deal, punctuated by a sudden eruption of some anonymous underground hip-hop! (Seriously, guys, I have some video-editing shareware that can snip that shit off for you, if you want.)

God Hell, do I love pro wrestling.


- Bunny Bissoux - said...

H O L Y S H I T.

I cant believe they could outdo the first trailer.

I need rip the audio off this, put it on the trusty ipod and be safe in the knowledge that those soothing tones can simmer me down to a snooze on my 15 hour flight to Japan this weekend. although when that hip hop kicks back in after the break i'm going to get cranky...

May the lord bless Teddy Hart.

Apollo Spas said...

Even better, there's at least forty minutes of raw footage from "AHSP:TTAROTH:TTATOTH" floating around on youtube. I wasn't even joking about watching Teddy eat a burrito. It's all there. No soothing narrator, but it gives me the chance to practice my impression.

- Bunny Bissoux - said...

I hope you aim is to become a fully licensed Teddy Hart official impersonator? I think you should get the haircut (complete with squiggly lines) first thing tomorrow.

i'll get to work on some "AHSP:TTAROTH:TTATOTH" T-shirts right away.

The Rev. von Fury said...

...."And also talks with Bobby Lashley,"!!!