Thanks, God... for NOTHING!

Now, we see the reward for my faith. I trusted that Our Heavenly Father would rain blessings down on his humble servant (The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels) in the form of sweet, sweet title gold. Alas, it was not to be. The tie-breaking final match of the night (A tie for first place between Rev. VonFury and Th' Pencil Neck Geek, and a tie for last place between Yrs Truly and Malibu Sands) went to White Rapper John Cena. And lo, the seventh seal did open, and the seas did boil, and I had to do a report on the steaming turd pictured at left.


The book! The book is the turd, you meanies. God, no wonder she's always crying.