I realise it may be hard for some of you to view the following images. What you are about to see strikes directly at the core of our most cherished assumptions about Democracy, Safety, and National Pride. But better to stand shivering in the harsh light of cruel reality than toil blindly under the oppressive yoke of The Neo-Conservative World Capitalist New World Order (or Drug Goon Psycho Communist Mind-Control Mafia, if that's more your speed).
Fear for my own safety prevents me from naming names, but I think it's fairly obvious from the photographic evidence who the REAL threat to our Republic is. Clearly, a certain leering "orange-hued dirigible (thanks to Malibu Sands for the apt description) has made the ultimate "heel turn" and is now in league with those who hate us for our freedoms.
I call on our nation's leaders to turn our military might against the TRUE threat to American Liberty. Our current policy of adventurism is clearly a smokescreen, meant to distract us from the real culprits. Yes, our foe is powerful, but Lady America must prevail! What are YOU gonna do, terrorist scum, when the Department of Homeland Security runs wild on YOU?!
In closing, I must sound one final discordant note of trouble: Where does Randy Savage stand in all of this? Is he in league with our enemies, plotting America's downfall from the comfort of his palatial estate? Or is he fearlessly leading a resistance effort, meting out vigilante justice from the safety of th' Underground? Or is he in a padded room somewhere, sobbing and babbling incoherently to a Diamond Dallas Page stuffed toy?