Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Kanyon Gayness Update

Openly gay wrestler Chris Kanyon was on the Howard Stern show today, mere moments (in geologic time) after announcing his retirement from pro wrestling. He discussed his recent suicide attempt (jumping in front of a train? How does that end up as an "attempt"?), his continuing struggles with depression (leading pillar of mental and physical health Artie Lange to offer him some free psychiatric counseling) and his persecution complex (during his manic phases, Kanyon tends to believe that "powerful forces," Vince McMahon among them, are conspiring to destroy his life... Heather Mills should take notes).

Of most interst to this writer were Kanyon's claims that Dennis Rodman was "stinking drunk" when he showed up for training sessions with Kanyon back in the bad old days of the Russo-fied WCW. Kanyon also says orange-hued Islamofascist Hulk Hogan threatened to kick Rodman's ass if he didn't get in line.

See? Hogan hates our freedoms. Specifically, our freedom to be drunk, arrogant, pansexual herpes factories.

Regardless, Arabian Facebuster once again salutes the (possibly nutty) Chris Kanyon, and we wish him all the best in his future endeavors.


Malibu Sands said...

There are three certainties in life: Death, taxes, and the older you get, the more you loathe Hulk Hogan.

goddamdirtyhippie said...

1) Rodman wasn't in WCW during Russo's tenure.

2) Be nice to Artie Lange.

Apollo Spas said...

1)Good point.

2)I'm nicer to Artie Lange than ARTIE LANGE is to Artie Lange. I'm not the one stuffing him full of cupcakes and heroin.