Monday, April 05, 2010

The Twat Watch

Today on The Twat Watch: Stone Cold Steve Austin Tweets, "song of the day is Balls to the Wall by Accept. gotta go wash the cow shit off my Bronco."

Let's see how SCSA's morning has been in Rev. chronological order:

from one hour ago via the web " dude the events i just described were all true..only the names were changed to protect the innocent. 2 casualties- 1 shark, 1 cow... btw.im wearing my shark skin jacket to the gym..."

from one hour ago via the web " alright folks...even i have stuff to do...get to work people!!! and have a Damn good day in the process. catch u later.."

from one hour ago via the web "kind of busy running from the law right now jake....sorry to hear your troubles finding Damage. damn...just hit cow going 142 mph!"

about 1 hour ago via web in reply to jake_b90got 17 "state troopers and 3 helicopters on my ass...gonna have to go off road....all systems ready-engage 4x4 Low and hit the Nitrous!!!!!!!"

about 1 hour ago via web in reply to Marella316@guitardude83 "yep i have wifi in my Bronco..doesnt everybody? theres a bunch of buttons on my steering wheel too..just like the Mach 5....."

about 1 hour ago via web in reply to guitardude83@flowers889 "yes i read your tweets!!! im trying to drive 137mph!! gotta keep my eyes on the road..."

about 1 hour ago via web in reply to flowers889 "on Interstate 10 east headed for the Broken Skull Ranch in Texas...1500 miles to go..will keep u posted..going 137 mph!! fastest Bronco ever "

about 2 hours ago via web "bad news-game warden came to my house with the police-i didnt have my fishing license...gonna jump in the Bronco and make a run for it..."

about 2 hours ago via web "sitting in my back yard wearing my new shark skin jacket and loafers while grilling a shark steak. crown royal goes great with shark. cheers "

about 2 hours ago via web "morning workout-ran to the ocean, swam 14 miles. got bit by a 17 foot shark so i gave him a stunner and pulled his teeth out. yes i am ok "

And that is the Bottom Line.

1 comment:

Pencil Neck Geek said...

Why didn't he tweet about the part when he busted through a police barricade, jumped a 100 foot ravine, and plowed through the herd of bison?