Tuesday, February 09, 2010

An Open Letter to David Cross...

Facebuster Nation, in the spirit of cross pollination and promotion, I'd like to offer up a very special Takes on Matters™ approved take on last night's Miz & Big Shew Unified Tag Team Title victory over D-Generation X, who from what Rev. Von. Fury tells me, were palling around and hamming it up with one of the only guys who could make the fusion of DX and Hornswaggle seem like the savviest of booking decisions, $5 foot long connoisseur and gastronomic anti-Christ Jared Fogle from those insufferable Subway commercials.

Dear David Cross:

Where do you get off? NOT debuting on last night's episode of Monday Night RAW as the acerbic tongued manager of The Miz and The Big Shew, rechristening this title-holding tag team combination as Mizter Shew, and setting in motion a six-man tag team showdown with you and your team against D-Generation X and Jared at WrestleMania?

Who do you think you are?!?!


-Malibu Sands
Chairman and CEO, Takes on Matters
Executive Vice President Emeritus, Tully Blanchard Enterprises, Incorporated

Not too my own horn ladies and gentlemen, but consider that a prescient and levelheaded take on a timely and pressing matter. Phrased differently: Toot. Toot.

Coming soon: Takes on Matters via Arabian Facebuster takes on the Special Olympics (Dear Special Olympics Athletes: You've got some nerve...I've watched your events and seen your finishing times and results, they ain't that special...), The Brady Bunch (Dear Carol Brady: Where do you get off...being a stay at home mom AND needing a full-time housekeeper...), and short lived, the neon and spandex clad tag-team phenomenon The Dynamic Dudes (Dear Johnny and Shane: Who do you think you are...NOT imploring the original rock'n'roller Buck Zumhoffe to become your mentor...and in Shane Douglas' case, your special companion slash tag-team life partner...).

Stay tuned.


Chris East said...

this was great
you are the best
i love you
let's get married


Malibu Sands said...

Dear Chris East:

Who do you think you are!?!?

Chris East said...


i did like it


my name's Chris