Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Triple H's Brush with Greatness

In a similar vein as "Nature Boy" Ric Flair's chance encounter with the penguin attired cabin fatty Casanova Larry Nelson and his bloated liver, Arabian Facebuster is proud to present Hunter Hearst Helmsley's 1995 World Wrestling Federation debut. Allow me to state the (painfully) obvious: the eventually to be rebranded The Game's physique back then was more akin to Shawn Michaels' or Randy Orton's than his current Ole Anderson juiced to gills look/Lex Luger with 33% more rasslin' talent, 65% better conditioned follicles, and 18% more motivation shtick.

And who prey tell is that pale skinned, clumsily postured, pedophile 'stached opponent full of spunk, fortitude, about 15 or so Perocets, and proud owner of a 1984 Ford Econoline conversion/rape van with a glove box replete with spermicidal lube and angel dust?

Yup, it's none other than Buck "Rock and/or Roll" Zumhoffe. Um..yes, that Buck "Rock and/or Roll" Zumhoffe.
News flash: Not unlike Rocky Mountain Thunder and anyone that dared try and impede this shoeless wunderkind's meteoric rise to the pinnacle of the venerated American Wrestling Association, these two didn't exactly mesh well together in the ring.


Pencil Neck Geek said...

If Hunter Hurst Helmsley had arrived to bring class and civility to the WWF, what did Buck Zumhoff have to offer?

Perhaps a wrinkled ziplock dusted with schwagy ditch weed remnants and an extensive back catalog of Oui magazine...

The Rev. von Fury said...

That dastardly upstart! Did you see how the young Mr. Helms dispensed of our frizzy- fair-haired boy? I do believe he has stolen Mr. Orton's patented RKO finisher!

Seriously, a rare day when WWF/E winds up as the featured video here on the AFB Network... and what a delicious collision of our world and theirs.

Now if only Zummhoff had thought to bring a midget out back in '95... We just might have had another Golddust...."*inhales*... ZummmDust!! *chomps on a bratwurst*"