Friday, February 15, 2008

Chyna's Sobriety Experiment

Tonight was my first face-to-television exposure withVH1's Friday night ratings juggernaut Celebrity Rehab. About 10 minutes into the inanity, I had an epiphany. I realized that Chyna, pictured here impersonating a cow, is a far more compelling character and viable brand when she is absolutely annihilated on some combination of booze, powders, prescription drugs, and X-Pac semen than when she is teetotaling her way through yet another directionless and humdrum day.

On behalf of Arabian Facebuster, I implore Chyna to reconsider her decision to stay clean. Based on tonight's episode, I am being generous by describing her newfound sobriety as a catastrophic failure and unmitigated disaster.

That is all...

No comments: