Friday, February 02, 2007

Arn Anderson: Underappreciated Ass Kicker

This clip is from an episode of NWA World Wide Wrestling that aired in the fall of 1985. It was a magical time...the seeds for the original Four Horseman stable were being planted, with the group's formal inception mere months away. Jimmy "The Boogie Woogie Man" Valiant was in his second year of his protracted, futile, and above all pointless feud with Paul Jones and his "Army." Black Bart and The Italian Stallion electrified arenas throughout the territory with a series of 10 minute time limit draws. Massive cysts had yet to form in the breasts of "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes.

Outside of the squared circle, Punky Brewster and her uncannily lucid dog Brandon illustrated to an audience of impressionable young people the hazards of playing hide-and-go-seek within fifty yards of an abandoned household appliance. And Tears for Fears were basking in the mainstream success of "Songs from the Big Chair," an album which helped a generation of innocuous sweater wearing, excessively teased and primped hair sporting, twenty-something clandestine homosexuals summon the strength and courage to divulge their true sexual identity to their supervisors and co-workers. Tragically, nearly all were ridiculed, ostracized, and eventually terminated by their employers for admitting they actually listened to Tears for Fears.

Sorry to digress. Now back to the clip at hand...there's so much old-skool goodness in this 3:30 segment that even the most astute and savvy Arabian Facebuster reader could not be expected to digest it all in the first two or three viewings! From Arn Anderson's fucking boss Cuban derby, to Double A steadfastly working on the left arm of his hapless opponent, to David Crockett's polished and eloquent commentary (i.e. "Look at him now...." "Aaaaaarrrrnnnn Anderson..." "Watch him!"...astoundingly, Crockett would get even worse as a play-by-play man over the years), to kneepad-less jobber Mac Jeffers taking his job as a "talent enhancer" earnestly, to the fans going nuts for Jeffers fleeting offensive flurry, this clip embodies all that was right about the National Wrestling Alliance (sans a post match run-in by the likes of a Magnum TA or "American Dream" Dusty Rhodes or 3 of 1 parking lot mugging and beat-down of Wahoo McDaniel by Arn, Tully, and Ole Anderson).


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