Tuesday, February 13, 2007

BREAKING NEWS: This (This), This is a Test

Arabian Facebuster's muckraking correspondent Black Jack Brown is reporting that the extremist known as Test (pictured at left, just minutes before making sweet love to your mother) has been indefinitely pulled off ECW's foray into this country's shoddily constructed and poorly lit municipal auditoriums as punishment for violating the company's "wellness policy."

According to Black Jack, willful ignorance mixed with sheer indifference most accurately characterizes the reaction to this completely foreseeable news from Test's fan base, the aptly named Testicles. Seriously, you're a fucking nut sack if you actually derive pleasure from Test's shtick.

A word of advice to Test -- steroids are harmful and dangerous. Side effects from frequent and prolonged intake include elevated blood pressure, increased risk for cardiovascular disease, and shrinking of the testicles (no, the irony isn't lost on me either). If you want to boost your muscle mass, tone your physique, and heighten your energy, endurance, and power, might I recommend acquiring the safest, most effective supplement on the market today?

1 comment:

Apollo Spas said...

Rumor has it that Test was doing a great job keeping his problem hidden from the higher-ups, but the crowd at the Hammerstein Ballroom publicly outed his condition at an ECW taping. Damn those amusing chants!