Thursday, December 03, 2009

Another Gagne...BU$$$TED

What's that old saying about steaming piles of bad news coming in threes?

First, Verne Gagne gets bu$ted (albeit not convicted) for assaulting and thereby killing a fellow infirmed resident of the ironically branded Friendship Village retirement castle. Then in one of the most spectacular instances of *gotcha* journalism ever recorded, Arabian Facebuster's Sexy Action News Team royally bu$ts Verne's mashed potato hued son Greg for failing out of boot camp at the notorious Camp Slaughter because, according to his dishonorable discharge records, he ran hills, tossed ropes, and did push ups "like a total fag." And now, their next of kin has been bu$$$ted in spectacular and humiliating fashion for engaging in some nefarious teacher weight room monitor at the local preparatory academy for the affluent and athletically gifted on student who's only 17 (nod to Winger) love making at the local La Quinta motor lodge!!!

Gagne's granddaughter charged with sex crime

Former Cretin-Derham teacher is accused of having sex with a student. The woman is the granddaughter of wrestler Verne Gagne.

The granddaughter of wrestling legend Verne Gagne is charged with two counts of third-degree criminal-sexual conduct with a student at Cretin-Derham Hall in St. Paul.

Gail E. Gagne worked as the weight-room supervisor at the school in the summer of 2008. The complaint alleges that Gagne, then 25, engaged in sexual conduct on several occasions with an 17-year-old student who is not identified in the complaint.

Her lawyer, Earl Gray, said Thursday she will plead not guilty and go to trial.

The alleged victim said Gagne took him to her Bloomington home and engaged in oral sex with him. Later, she took him to a hotel near the Mall of America where the two spent the night and had sex, the complaint said.

Hotel records and Gagne's credit card receipts show that on Sept. 13-14, she spent the night at LaQuinta Hotel on Nicollet Avenue south in Bloomington, the complaint said.

The Cretin-Derham Hall principal told police that Gagne was hired at the school in November 2007 as an assistant basketball coach. From January through September 2008, she was a substitute teacher. In the summer of 2008, she worked in the weight room and in late September 2008, she was hired as a full-time teacher, the complaint said.

As the weight-room supervisor, she worked with students to ensure they properly used the equipment and supervised the students who had work-study jobs there. The alleged victim had a work-study job in the weight room.

On May 4, 2009, police were called to the school to investigate an allegation of sexual conduct between a student and a teacher. The complaint did not explain the lag time from the alleged activity, the report to police and the filing of charges.

Gagne is not in custody. St. Paul police say they believe she is living in the Chicago area. Hennepin County Judge Ron Abrams issued a warrant for her arrest Tuesday.

Gagne, now 27, is the granddaughter of former professional wrestler Verne Gagne and the daughter of former professional wrestler Greg Gagne.

No court date has been set. Both charges are felonies punishable by up to 15 years in prison each.

Greg Gagne declined to comment.

No word on whether they booked into a room with one king sized bed or one with two double which case one could only assume -- in the parlance of the affable and bleach teethed Bob Eubanks -- they made Whopee in both beds, thereby adding about 6 and one-half minutes of time for Lupita, the introverted and perpetually sleepy La Quinta housekeeper, to sanitize and make up their den of iniquity.

Late Update: Sorry, it's "background singers" that come in threes. Background singers.

1 comment:

Pencil Neck Geek said...

All my favorite singers couldn't sing!

Weight room supervisor!?! The whole story sounds like a porno I may or may not have seen at some point in time.

Does that La Quinta have a cigar bar?