Say My Name, Say My Name

Earlier this month, renowned novelist, actress, dysfunctional relationship expert, drug addict, and all around walking propped up disaster Jonie Laurer -- seen here moments before contracting pubic lice (L) and genital warts (R) from her evening companions -- legally changed her name to Chyna. She now joins the ranks of The Ultimate Warrior as the only washed-up sports entertainers foolish enough to conclude that such an alteration could possibly elicit the care and concern of or regenerate some sort of cultural relevance or import (that is not immediately followed by ridicule and malice) amongst the populace.

According to TMZ.com, a triumphant Chyna emerged from a suburban Los Angeles Court House, postulating verbosely about her struggles, rebirth, and seething contempt for Vince McMahon (we here at Arabian Facebuster can't think of a sounder approach to coping with and moving forward from past hardships and personal failures than by legally adopting a moniker from this period in one's life).

Following the proceedings, Chyna was whisked away from the courthouse... to the unemployment office, in order to update her documentation.