BREAKING NEWS: Reason #1 to Despise TNA

It just signed Hulk Hogan and Hogan minions Eric Bischoff and Jason Hervey with presumably more (aka Nasty Boy Brian Knobbs, Jimmy Hart, and Ed "The Booty Man" Leslie) in the wings waiting to ink their deals.

Yikes.

Straight from the horse’s Dixie Carter's mouth web site:

HULK HOGAN JOINS TNA WRESTLING
Legendary Wrestler and Pop Culture Icon Returns To The Ring With Fast-Rising Wrestling Organization

“Hulkamania” is back! The biggest name in professional wrestling history, Hulk Hogan, is joining Total Non-Stop Action Wrestling (TNA), the fastest rising wrestling organization in the world and home to one of cable television’s highest rated shows for young men, TNA iMPACT! The announcement was made today by TNA Wrestling in conjunction with Spike TV at a press conference held in New York City.

“Hulk Hogan is one of the world’s top pop culture icons and the biggest superstar in the history of professional wrestling. We are truly excited to welcome him into the TNA family,” said Dixie Carter, President of TNA Wrestling. “Our goal is to become the world’s biggest professional wrestling company. Hulk defines professional wrestling and we look forward to partnering with him in a variety of ways as we continue to grow TNA globally.”

“I’m thrilled to be jumping back into the world of professional wrestling,” said Hogan. “My fans have been asking me to return to the business for many years on a full time basis, but the timing or the opportunity has never been right until now. TNA Wrestling is a great company with an already excellent fan base, business and broadcast partner. I firmly believe now is the time for some change at TNA as they are positioned to jump to the next level in their development and I’m here to work with Dixie to help make that a reality.”

Through Hogan’s partnership with Bischoff Hervey Entertainment Television, the deal with TNA was negotiated by longtime Hogan colleague Eric Bischoff. Additionally, BHE TV has inked a first-look deal with TNA and will be working with the organization to develop new programming extensions of the TNA brand.

“Hulk Hogan adds yet another level of star power that positions TNA iMPACT as Spike TV’s version of ‘Must-See TV’ on Thursday nights,” said Kevin Kay, president of Spike.

Hogan most recently penned an autobiography with Mark Dagostino, “My Life Outside The Ring” with St. Martin’s Press.

Wither washed up superstars' whirlwind tour of Australia?

Yr Random Flickr Upload Foto of the Week

Kerry Von Erich shaves the head of Gino Hernandez. Minutes earlier, Gino and his Dynamic Duo tag team partner "Gentlemen" Chris Adams were defeated by Kerry & Kevin Von Erich in a hair-versus-hair match.

World Class Championship Wrestling. Cotton Bowl, Dallas TX. Circa Sept/Oct 1985.

I Heart YouToo!

Facebuster Nation: It has been brought to my attention that this site's most valuable subject for generating top notch blog fodder in 2009 now has his own very own YouTube (um, better make that YouToo) account. That's right, Buck Rock and/or Roll Zumhoffe is slowly, shaggily, disheveledly, yet inevitably taking over the interwebs from the comfort of his horribly outdated, mismatched, and cobbled together living room.

My God, even the walls clash.

At this point, you making be wondering how exactly is this officiator of midgets wrestling women in a corn field going to conquer then transform this preferred global medium for mashing up Ms. South Carolina Teen USA's attempts to form a cohesive and intelligible thought with the likes of President Bush or President in 2012 Sarah Palin and watching unsuspecting people get at-once grossed out and increasingly curious watching 2 girls/1 cup for the first time?

Simple, by engaging in the most selfless yet predestined act possible this side of Jesus being crucified for our sins: rehashing old footage of himself in the AWA (sorry, I meant to type AWDay) cooperating and/or competing with such icons as *shiver* Hulk Hogan, Greg Gagne, Jim Brunzell, and *crosses fingers* Nord (husk!) The (husk!!) Barbarian (husk!!!).

Consider me subscribed.

MONDAY MACHO MADNESS!!! The Savage Blend: One Lump or Two?

Yr Random Flickr Upload Foto of the Week

The jacket of "The Playboy" 45" by The Cleavers featuring the incomparable "Playboy" Buddy Rose. A anecdote about Arabian Facebuster's favorite 217 pounder told by the gentlemen who posted this sleeve -- along with some links to photos from the late 1970s and early 1980s Portland punk and rasslin' scenes -- can be enjoyed here.

MONDAY MACHO MADNESS!!! SHOCKING TRUTH REVEALED:

It was Way Sexier than RAW.

You've Come a Long Way, Baby.

Thought Bubble, Ctd.

stop staring at things
that are just standing still
get in line pretty people
we are coming in for the kill
-Times New Viking

Bon Voyage, Capt'n Lou Albanao....

July 29, 1933 - October 14, 2009

Yr Random Flickr Upload Foto of the Week

Abdullah The Butcher commits an act of "gruesome butchery" on the noggin of "Wildfire" Tommy Rich, whose wispy and stringy bleached blond locks bare a striking resemblance to the dynamic Mulkey Brothers tag team combination. My guess is that this photo was snapped circa 1981/82 in the Georgia Championship Wrestling promotion.

"Macho, Macho Men!!!"

To those of you watching at home, you may not know it, but it has been one hell of a momentous week behind the scenes here at the FaceBuster! Why, in just this last week alone...

- Our very own old skool assassin Malibu $and$ pounded out a grueling, bile- inducing 26.2 mile marathon on Sunday, only to place his rival runners in a particularly painful and not entirely un-elegant post-race Toture Rack upon his arrival at the finish line (which he incidently Clotheslined with surprising effectiveness)!

-The very potent and evidently massive "Pencil" of our very own Geek has finally brought its fruit to fruition and now the world will breathlessly await the day his brand new baby girls (thass right, Twins! Just like in Jean Claude Van Damme's 1991 masterpiece, Double Impact: "There's Two of Them!!!") form an unstoppable ladies tag-team David McClaine would be proud to promote!! Congratulations!!+!

- The Intrepid Apollo Spas, from last we heard, had entered the deep darkness of the deepest jungles of the darkest Yucatan in old Meeh-hee-ko to seek out irrefutable, heiroglyphic proof that the Ancient Maya had predicted the conjunction betwixt the rise of The One True Teddy Hart's wrasslin' carrer and its inorexiable connection to the final cataclysmic (see new John Cusak film for the grisly visuals. Yikes! We are all gonna die driving through a flippin shitstorm!) days of this our Earth as foretold by the mystic Mayan calendar! December 21, 2012.....flippity-floppity- floo indeed!

- And that brings us to yrs. truly, your humble Rev. von Fury. Inspired as I am by the Herculean endeavours of my fellows, I will be debuting a NEW (no, its not the ressurection of the ill fated "Yr. Old Skool Moustache of the Week") weekly feature for our dear, dear, FaceBuster Coalition of the Willing.

From this Monday forward, thanks to the unlikely ad-hoc smorgesborg of the unendingly shameless self promotion including but not limited to the likes of Al Sharpton, Jeremy Piven, and Cedric the (un)Entertainer, my Mondays will no longer be spent in the Vietnam-esque quagmire that is the creative bung hole known as the WAR ZONE, but instead with my as of yet un-viewed, but 5 month owned DVD collection titled (appropriately enough)- "Macho Madness: The Randy Savage Ultimate Collection 3 Disc Set".

Hmmm, what will be my first selection for perusal? Will it be Savage v. Flair at 'Mania VIII? Or Savage v. Steamboat in '87 at WMIII?? Or perhaps Savage v. Yokozuna on a Monday Night back in February of '94?? The choices... the decisions....the Savagery!

Oh shit. Little lambs, it seems as though yur Rev. missed his first Monday of MACHO MADNESS MONDAYS!!!. Ah hell. Well just forget about all that crap I said about important events this last week. It looks like NEXT week will be the one to remember...OHH YEAH!!!

Yr Random Flickr Upload Foto of the Week

Terry Funk shares his opinion of The American Dream with the fans of Championship Wrestling from Florida, circa mid-1970s.

BGV: Traitor to Hulkamania. Hero to All.

Quoth the Observer (the actual blurb is buried in the middle of the update):

"King V (Big Daddy V) has pulled out of the Hulkamania tour of Australia due to taking a movie offer."

We here at Arabian Facebuster wish to thank the studio with the gumption to take on Big Gay Vis in their sure to be off-Hollywood, straight to video production. What with his sagging leviathan breasts, droopy jowls, ample posterior, fat roles adorned stomach, and impeccable comedic timing, we are confident that he'll make a superb body double for Martin Lawrence in Big Momma's House 3....or as the character Rasputia for Eddie Murphy in the Norbit sequel.

Ahh, the garish, overbearing, corpulent black woman oblivious to her demeanor and the norms of society. Or what we here at Arabian Facebuster like to call can't miss, 24 karat comedic gold!