Tuesday, October 06, 2009

"Macho, Macho Men!!!"

To those of you watching at home, you may not know it, but it has been one hell of a momentous week behind the scenes here at the FaceBuster! Why, in just this last week alone...

- Our very own old skool assassin Malibu $and$ pounded out a grueling, bile- inducing 26.2 mile marathon on Sunday, only to place his rival runners in a particularly painful and not entirely un-elegant post-race Toture Rack upon his arrival at the finish line (which he incidently Clotheslined with surprising effectiveness)!

-The very potent and evidently massive "Pencil" of our very own Geek has finally brought its fruit to fruition and now the world will breathlessly await the day his brand new baby girls (thass right, Twins! Just like in Jean Claude Van Damme's 1991 masterpiece, Double Impact: "There's Two of Them!!!") form an unstoppable ladies tag-team David McClaine would be proud to promote!! Congratulations!!+!

- The Intrepid Apollo Spas, from last we heard, had entered the deep darkness of the deepest jungles of the darkest Yucatan in old Meeh-hee-ko to seek out irrefutable, heiroglyphic proof that the Ancient Maya had predicted the conjunction betwixt the rise of The One True Teddy Hart's wrasslin' carrer and its inorexiable connection to the final cataclysmic (see new John Cusak film for the grisly visuals. Yikes! We are all gonna die driving through a flippin shitstorm!) days of this our Earth as foretold by the mystic Mayan calendar! December 21, 2012.....flippity-floppity- floo indeed!

- And that brings us to yrs. truly, your humble Rev. von Fury. Inspired as I am by the Herculean endeavours of my fellows, I will be debuting a NEW (no, its not the ressurection of the ill fated "Yr. Old Skool Moustache of the Week") weekly feature for our dear, dear, FaceBuster Coalition of the Willing.

From this Monday forward, thanks to the unlikely ad-hoc smorgesborg of the unendingly shameless self promotion including but not limited to the likes of Al Sharpton, Jeremy Piven, and Cedric the (un)Entertainer, my Mondays will no longer be spent in the Vietnam-esque quagmire that is the creative bung hole known as the WAR ZONE, but instead with my as of yet un-viewed, but 5 month owned DVD collection titled (appropriately enough)- "Macho Madness: The Randy Savage Ultimate Collection 3 Disc Set".

Hmmm, what will be my first selection for perusal? Will it be Savage v. Flair at 'Mania VIII? Or Savage v. Steamboat in '87 at WMIII?? Or perhaps Savage v. Yokozuna on a Monday Night back in February of '94?? The choices... the decisions....the Savagery!

Oh shit. Little lambs, it seems as though yur Rev. missed his first Monday of MACHO MADNESS MONDAYS!!!. Ah hell. Well just forget about all that crap I said about important events this last week. It looks like NEXT week will be the one to remember...OHH YEAH!!!

4 comments:

Malibu $and$ said...

I vote for you NOT to review the Yokozuna match. I don't want you to get repetitive stress disorder from typing "punch, kick, rest hold."

The Rev. von Fury said...

...you mean button mashing, eh comish?

The Rev. von Fury said...

BTW: That is NOT the REAL Colonel Nonothcka!

Pencil Neck Geek said...

Eagerly awaiting the first installment and hoping for a future video review featuring a white sport coat, coffee, and Old Grandad!

Also, nice work Malibu! I hear that the post marathon celebration aboard the Lex Express was off the hook.