Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Tuesday's with Larry



Ladies, gentlemen, and Larry Nelson fanatics that initially discovered our Arabian Facebuster project via Hairy Larry's myspace page (or unwittingly pulled up a stool next to Larry at the local titty bar and endured his liquor fueled, semi-coherent, ad nauseam ramblings about his book, cabin fatty seduction best practices, achieving cult hero status on the interwebs, and the burdens of celebrity [including but not limited to the lofty and unrealistic expectation of Larry not forgetting to put on pants before going out in public]) and now spend time lurking on our site with increasing regularity, it is time to feature a clip of our favorite degenerate that captures the unpredictable, cliff-hanging, suspenseful, meandering, long-winded, and ultimately anti-climatic nature of his storytelling. Witness Exhibit A: Larry Nelson's slow developing tale as to the genesis of Silo Sam's participation in an over the top rope (as opposed to, um, under the bottom rope?) battle royal coming soon to a junior college student union building or farm expo center near you.

This fable should really be transcribed into a written format and included on the SAT's to test the reading comprehension skills of our college aspirant young people. Although I must confess, after repeated viewings, this Tulsa Welding School graduate still can't pick out the thesis statement or identify with any great degree of certainty or clarity the literary devices employed by the shaggy, pale cheeked narrator. But if pressed, I would posit that the account of Silo Sam is a powerful allegory about the limitations on the American ethos of self-reliance, individualism, and isolation, illustrated through the mutually beneficial outcomes attained by story's protagonists, but only after they learn together about cooperation, overcoming distrust, and showing vulnerability and tenderness...or a straightforward tale about the unintended consequences that may result from taking an American built and manufactured car out for a spin in the boondocks.

Regardless, please enjoy and, oh, try not to fall asleep.

Update: I have been assured that no farm animals were harmed (read: made sweet love to) during the making of the video...although the hoisted calf in question was soon thereafter transported to a slaughterhouse, killed in an inhumane and borderline vengeful manner, butchered into a delicious veal chop (with the lesser cuts, organs and waste donated to the local homeless shelter and sanatorium), sold to an osteria, prepared osso buco style, and served with a haunting and ethereal 1964 Barolo.

3 comments:

Apollo Spas said...

I've been trying to coerce Larry Nelson into converting his interwebs fame into a successful singing career. We're thinking of calling the first album "No Tractor Required".

The Rev. von Fury said...

Poor Harry Larry...

His touching story about the lonely roads of the Tennessee hills and a gentle giant's midas touch with ditch-begotten automobiles of the wheelin' and dealin' 'wrasslin elite.... all to the soothing sounds...

...of John Denver? W.T.F.?!?

Any man west of the Mississippi worth his salt knows that John Denver sang songs dedicated to ROCKY MOUNTAIN highs. ie. ROCKY MOUNTAIN THUNDUUUUUURRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!

Denver never sang no songs bout Tennessee back roads, but ROCKY MOUNTAIN (THUNDER) roads....

I can't wait for Silo vs. R.M. Thunder. Special Guest Commentary by John Denver with Our Very Own, Harry Larry.

the rev.

Malibu Sands said...

JEERS to the AWA for stealing John Cena's newest t-shirt (now available now at WWE Shopzone, from what I'm been told) and turning it into their rasslin' company's logo.

Wait a second...