Monday, December 29, 2008

Yr Old Skool God Awful Rassler of the Week

In order to commemorate my rejoining of Team Facebuster, its time to rejuvenate the "Yr Old Skool Foto of the Week" bit. Starting today and continuing through the month of January, Arabian Facebuster brings to you a visual expose of some of wrestling's worst workers.

Without further ado, this week we give you Outback Jack, who stunk up World Wrestling Federation's arenas something fierce in late 1986/early 1987.

Deterred but not defeated by the sheer wretchedness that was Outback Jack trying to execute a hold or take/sell a maneuver against some of the federation's finest of heel enhancement workers (see Jose Estrada, Iron Mike Sharpe, Moondog Spot, and of course Steve Lombardi) yet still committed to find a way to cash in on the short lived but magma hot Australian craze here in the good old U S and A (see Paul Hogan's cinematic output, Roos sneakers, Australian synth-pop hit makers Icehouse, and that dumb ass Energizer battery pitch man as but four [or five if you fail to watch Crocodile Dundees 1 and 2 either concurrently or consecutively]), Vince lured The New Zealand Sheepherders away from the NWA/Crockett Promotions and turned this once violent, unpredictable/dangerous, sadistic hardcore tag team into the goofy head licking, affectionate noogie giving, arm flapping, routine dental hygiene avoiding, knuckle-headed Bushwhackers.

And without the Bushwhackers, there is no Mosh & Thrasher ,The Headbangers, no Oddities, and most certainly no (yo yo yo) Crime Tyme.

Outback Jack, this is all your fault!


Malibu Sands said...

Postscript: Is it just me or does Outback Jack look eerily like Bob Hoskins...or an impish Ernest Borgnine?

Pencil Neck Geek said...

...or an incredibly fit Artie Lang

Pencil Neck Geek said...

Isn't it also true that Outback Jack is responsible for the subprime lending crisis, providing the "faulty intelligence" leading to our prolonged engagement in Iraq, and KFC's Ultimate Bowl?

Malibu Sands said...

I heard that Bruce Pardo aka The Santa Gunman spent the afternoon of December 24 watching Outback Jack matches on YouTube before shooting up and burning down his ex-wife's in-laws Christmas eve party.

Outback Jack may also have been responsible for whiskey tango tween sensation Jo Jo.