Thursday, December 25, 2008

26 Years Ago This Evening...

"Nature Boy" Ric Flair styled and profiled into Dallas and the spectacular, vivacious, sold out Reunion Arena (Bill Mercer's adjectives, not mine) to defend the NWA World Heavyweight Wrestling Championship against "Modern Day Warrior" Kerry Von Erich inside of a steel cage cyclone fence.

David Manning was the referee assigned this contest while scourge to race-based affirmative action advocates everywhere and Fabulous Freebird mouthpiece Michael Hayes acted as the special guest enforcer.

After watching his "brother" (related not by blood but presumably by their Aryan ancestry if their penchant for draping themselves Confederate flag robes, trunks, non-wrestling attire, and even face paint is admissible as evidence) get (inadvertently) taken out by the tuned up, horse faced Adonis of Denton County, TX, Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy violently slammed the steel cage door into Kerry's skull, leading to (1) Flair's retention of the NWA Title as a result of David Manning's eventual stoppage of the match out of concern for Kerry's severe head trauma; (2) a swift yet well executed (if the riotous fans around ringside are any indication) Freebird heel turn; (3) the start of the bitter, protracted, and white hot Von Erich-Freebird feud and meteoric growth and expansion of World Class Championship Wrestling (written with Bill Mercer's cadence and inflection running through my head); (4) accusations of "honky tonkin'" leveled on Terry Gordy by one General Skandor Akbar; and (5) the WWE recycling the "steel cage door head slam" angle seemingly every third time they feature a cage match on TV or PPV during the post-Attitude era.

Meanwhile, in a quiet, well heeled Philadelphia suburb, an apple cheeked, precocious lil' Malibu Sands played intently with the transforming autobots and decepticons that he had received from jolly St. Nick. Or they have might have been Go-Bots.

That's the way it was, December 25, 1982.

Please also file this post under "Oh Dallas, You Shine with an Evil Light."


1 comment:

Pencil Neck Geek said...

This is better than Xanta Claus bringing me a pair of LJN thumb wrestlers (preferably JYD and Iron Shiek), Scooter the Go-Bot, and a complete set of Von Hayes rookie cards (Topps,Fleer, and Donruss). The return of Malibu Sands, an Old Skool recap, TNA update, and the Official 2008 Conclave slide show. I'm the luckiest boy in the world!!!