Tuesday, July 22, 2008

BREAKING NEWS: The Sandman Arrested!!!

In a bizarre incident that foreshadows how my weekend at the 2nd Annual Arabian Facebuster Staff Conference and Fan Conclave is sure to turn out, garbage wrestling sensation, cheap beer guzzling icon, arch nemesis of The Zombie, and all around worthless D-bag The Sandman was arrested Sunday night on multiple counts stemming from a drunken kerfuffle at a Yonkers, NY (birthplace of the dearly departed Gran'ma Sands, BTW) area feedbag. It seems that The Sandman quaffed a few Miller Sharps too many at Captain Lou Albano's birthday party, became agitated, belligerent, and combative, and hurled some tumblers and schooners at the restaurant wait staff and then at the police officers who were called in to restrain him. According to authorities, an investigation is ongoing to determine whether a Singapore cane was also brandished.

The litany of charges leveled against this one time non-change the channel inducing superstar include second degree felony assault (E-C-Dubb, E-C-Dubb!), third degree felony level criminal mischief (E-C-Dubb, E-C-Dubb!), second degree reckless endangerment (E-C-Dubb, E-C-Dubb!), and resisting arrest (E-C-Dubb, E-C-Dubb!).

Two knee jerk reactions to this story: (1) Why was was no citation issued for public intoxication? C'mon officers, show the man a little bit of compassion and deference...he's got a gimmick and reputation to uphold for chrise sakes. (2) Captain Lou Albano's still alive?

2 comments:

Pencil Neck Geek said...

Captain Lou Albano had a party and we weren't invited!?!

Leighsus Christ said...

I had the very same Cap'n Lou reaction.